Escape Plan

The 1980s and much of the 1990s were the Age of the Overblown, Dumb, Mindless Action Movies, stars like Jean-Claude Van Damme, Steven Seagal, Dolph Lundgren and others dominating the genre. The action genre has changed a ton in the years since, but the stars are still there, including two of the biggest stars who reunite in 2013's Escape Plan.

A former lawyer turned specialist, Ray Breslin (Sylvester Stallone) is the best in the business. That business? He's inserted into federal penitentiaries and maximum security prisons as a prisoner at large, no one aware of his identity, and devises a way to escape. Breslin has no equals, doing the job for years and helping to improve overall security, earning himself quite the reputation over the years. His reputation has gotten him quite the job offer, a $5 million payday if he can escape from a new, state-of-the-art prison facility that has been deemed 'impossible to escape' from. The background seems a little shaky, but Ray takes the job only to find out he's been duped once he's inside the prison. The warden, Hobbes (Jim Caviezel), has no intention of even giving him a chance to escape, leaving Ray in an impossible situation. His possible out? Help from a fellow prisoner, Rottmayer (Arnold Schwarzenegger) who desperately wants out.

Action movies can't just be action movies anymore, can they? They have to do something different, out of left field, desperately trying to rewrite the genre. Is there anything wrong with a throwback to the 1980s/1990s when it was acceptable for an action movie to have really cool good guys, really despicable bad guys and a lot of mindless fight scenes with some stupid one-liners along the way. That's the formula director Mikael Hafstrom follows in this action flick that earned over $137 million in theaters. Is it particularly good? No, not especially, but if absolutely nothing else, it is refreshing to see a movie like this. Too bad it wasn't better, some really fun, solid moments lost in mostly mediocre moments in a too-long 115-minute long flick.

Come on now. The reasoning I'm guessing 99% of movie fans sought this movie out was the pairing of two of the all-time great action icons, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger. We're talking Rambo and the Terminator, side by side and pissed at the world. It's the pairing that fans wanted to see for years in the 80s and 90s, finally getting a taste of it with the two Expendables movies. There is a certain cheeseball charm to this pairing of Stallone and Schwarzenegger, screenwriters Miles Chapman and Jason Keller's script giving them plenty of chances to bust each other, make fun of each other and basically argue about anything and everything. It isn't anything that's going to strain any brain activity, but it's fun. Any scene where the duo is together is automatically better just because they're there. They have an easygoing chemistry that reflects two old friends, Stallone the smart-ass straight man, Schwarzenegger the funner, livelier part. Whether it's 1984, 1994 or 2014, it's cool to see these two action icons working together in lead roles.

I wish I could say the same for the rest of the cast. The script's goal is to give Stallone and Schwarzenegger a premise to work with....and that's about it. There's no real development anywhere else. Good = good, bad = bad, and Vincent D'Onofrio = bad because well, it's Vincent D'Onofrio. I don't consider that a spoiler so deal with it. It's cool seeing Jesus himself, um, uh, Caviezel in a bad guy role, hamming it up with steely eyes and a pristine black suit, but we know nothing about him. How'd he end up as warden of a corrupt prison like this? Vinnie Jones plays his enforcer, Drake. Faran Tahir tries to avoid stereotypes as much as possible as Javed, a Muslim prisoner who hates Breslin but may have to work with him to escape. Along with D'Onofrio, Amy Ryan and 50 Cent are Breslin's partners and business associates, wondering if they've stumbled into something surprising. Oh, and Sam Neill is cool because he's Sam Neill.

There was potential here, but moments along the way help derail the story. The script is obsessed with giving Sly and Arnie as many stupid, forced one-liners as humanly possible. I figure they're going for laughs, but the jokes and lines fell short for me. The premise is cool, no doubt about it, an inescapable, perfectly built prison that no one can get out of, and let me tell you, there's a good twist about where exactly that prison is. There's an even bigger twist in the finale that does work in some ways, but again, it feels like such an effort was made to trick the audience and pull the rug out from under us that it loses most of its impact. It's not painfully bad, but it's not as good as I'm sure it was intended.

So what are we left with? Mostly a pairing of Stallone and Schwarzenegger. The action is kept on the backburner until the last 30 minutes, definitely the most enjoyable part of the movie. It's got all those cliches we've come to expect from an action movie, slow motion bullets, bad guys with insanely bad aim, heroes with amazingly good aim, and all those little touches that look ridiculous...in a fun way. A meh movie if there ever was unfortunately.

Escape Plan (2013): **/****

Snatch.

I find it hard to criticize a director for sticking with what he does best. Michael Bay does huge action movies, John Ford did westerns, Billy Wilder did smart comedies. There always seem to be departures from the norm, but when you're good at doing something, why go too far? I'm finding that's more the case with British director Guy Ritchie who is quickly climbing my list of currently working film directors.

Throw out Sherlock Holmes as a fun historical/period piece, and we're not even going to mention his ill-fated flick with then-wife Madonna, Swept Away. He has only had six feature length movies with his seventh coming this winter, a Sherlock sequel. I recently reviewed his first movie -- cult hit Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels which I loved -- and last fall was introduced to Ritchie's British crime thrillers with RocknRolla. With a limited filmography, it is easy to catch up with the whole Ritchie catalog, and I'm getting there after watching 2000's Snatch., his most highly rated movie to date.

Working with his longtime partner, Tommy (Stephen Graham), underground illegal boxing promoter Turkish (Jason Statham) is in it deep with old-time gangster, Brick Top (Alan Ford). Turkish needs a fighter to take a dive in the fourth round of a fight, picking gypsy, bare-knuckle fighter, Mickey O'Neil (Brad Pitt), but even he isn't sure if the unpredictable gypsy will take a dive. At the same time, a gambler/crook named Frankie Four Fingers (Benicio del Toro) pulls off a heist with an 86-karat diamond. He's trying to unload the diamond for some quick cash, setting up a deal with New York City broker, Cousin Avi (Dennis Farina), but before he can reach London, everything is thrown up for grabs. Pawn shop owners turned crooks, greedy bookies, low-level gangsters, enforcers and thugs, everyone wants their hands on this diamond, and by the end everyone and anyone will cross paths.

The story itself is cookie-cutter in terms of Ritchie's talents and ability. RockNRolla had a painting, Lock/Stock had two shotguns, and Snatch has a big, freaking diamond. Throw this one item into a pack of wild dogs -- crooks, criminals, thugs, gangsters -- and let them go to work on each other. What sets it apart though from other similar movies (Ritchie's style has inspired countless knockoffs) is this unique style and blend of black, dark humor, surprising graphic violence, and dialogue that crackles in every scene. His camerawork is fun to watch, and the pace nears frenetic but never becomes indecipherable. Ritchie makes his movie on a small budget, but it never reflects it in the finished product.

With countless characters to work with and a positive reputation following 'Lock, Stock,' Ritchie remains true to his roots here while still adding some big names to the cast. Brad Pitt is obviously the biggest name as the heavily bearded, heavily tattooed, gypsy, bare-knuckle fighter Mickey O'Neil.  The part is a credit to Pitt for taking a smaller role that ends up being one of the movie's best. He speaks in this lightning quick, mumbling, heavy Irish accent that makes it nearly impossible to follow without subtitles, but there's a charm to this character that Pitt brings to the table. Dennis Farina gets to play straight man to all the comedic chaos around him as Cousin Avi, a NYC diamond broker totally out of his element in the London underworld. Benicio Del Toro is in the movie for about six seconds so don't go in expecting him to be around long.

That is only three characters though in a sea of memorable characters. Statham and Graham are great together as Turkish and Tommy, two low level boxing promoters maneuvering for their lives when a deal goes wrong. Ritchie favorite Vinnie Jones plays Bullet Tooth Tony, an enforcer similar to the character he played two years earlier in 'Lock, Stock.' Rade Serbedzija is foreboding, intimidating and even funny as Boris the Bullet Dodger, a guns dealer who used to be a KGB agent. Ford as Brick Top provides some of the movie's funniest lines, ones you wouldn't think would be funny but his delivery sells it. Lennie James and Robbie Gee play Sol and Vinny, two pawn shop owners turned robbers with their not-so svelte getaway driver, Tyrone (Ade). What makes all this craziness work is that with limited screentime, each and every one of these characters gets a chance to shine. Some are more memorable than others, but not a one disappoints.

Beyond all the stylish camera work, the crazy, convoluted story, and graphic violence, I think the biggest selling point for Ritchie's movies is the incredibly dark -- and therefore a whole lot funnier -- humor. Ade's Tyrone is an obese getaway driver who can barely get in and out of his car. He refuses to park in a suitable parking spot because he claims there isn't room (there's plenty) and then shows what a crappy driver he is. Ford's Brick Top explains in graphic detail how to dispose of a body at a pig farm, a story that in no way should be funny but somehow is. Avi wants Tony to kill a dog because he believes the diamond is inside him, producing a series of great one-liners and reactions that had me roaring. Tony later tries to dispatch a rival, emptying a clip into him only to hear him deliver one line after another as he refuses to die. Out of context, maybe it's not that funny. But this movie is funnier than most straight comedies out there.

With Guy Ritchie movies, I think you're either going to love them or hate them. You will either embrace the crazy antics and the lunacy of what's going on, or it's just not going to appeal to you. As good as Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels was, I think this is Ritchie's best movie up to now. Twisting and turning story, great script (written by Ritchie), and more memorable characters than I care to mention.

Snatch. <---trailer (2000): *** 1/2 /****

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

For a guy with only six feature films to his name (one among them considered an epic bomb), British director Guy Ritchie has certainly made a name for himself over the last 13 years, and a positive name for himself at that. His most recent movie, Sherlock Holmes, was a bit of a departure for Ritchie though, a period piece with his own unique vision and style.  Of the movies I've seen of his though, it's been my least favorite...by far.  He is most at home with crime thrillers, and his best may have been his first, 1998's Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.  

Making this movie as a relative unknown in the late 1990s on a ridiculously small budget, Ritchie nonetheless shows a knack for moviemaking that just comes easy to some people.  All his trademarks that he's perfected over the last 12 years are there, to the point you have to wonder how long he'd been planning his moves out.  The almost schizophrenic story jumps from scene to scene in milliseconds, introducing and dispatching characters as quickly as they appear, a camera shooting style that is in your face and aggressive, and a labyrinth plot that crosses and intertwines left and right with everyone and everything crossing paths at some point. A movie that would certainly require repeated viewings to make sure everything actually works out, I still feel like I have a good grasp on the movie. I loved it.

Pooling their money together to join a high-stakes card game, longtime friends Eddie (Nick Moran), Bacon (Jason Statham), Tom (Jason Flemyng), and Soap (Dexter Fletcher), plan on big winnings if Eddie -- the most skilled card player among them -- can pull off a win.  Instead, they get hustled and end up owing 500,000 pounds to Hatchet Harry (P.H. Moriarty), the local crime boss with ties in everything. The crew is given a week to get back the money for Harry or else they'll lose a finger each for each day they're late. But where would four working class bums get their hands on so much money in such a short time?  Eddie's got a plan to knock off their drug-dealing next door neighbors which sounds too good, too easy to be true.  Long story short? It is as Eddie and his friends end up in a convoluted deal with mobsters, low level thugs, black market dealers, a calm and cool collector, and a pair of 1800s shotguns that just keep popping up.

To try and actually explain Lock, Stock and all the workings of its plot would take several more, much longer reviews. That is about as mainlined a description as I'm going to be able to come up with.  As the story crisses and crosses though, it keeps you on your toes.  There are about 10 unifying links among all the convoluted mayhem, the key one being a pair of shotguns that Hatchet Harry wants to get his hands on.  You don't always see these links until the absolute last second, but that's part of the fun.  Looking back on the movie (having just finished it about 15 minutes ago), I'm positive I couldn't even begin to explain all the craziness.  In the moment though, it's convoluted without being confusing -- if that makes any sense at all.  You don't need to keep up. Just sit back and enjoy.

Last year I watched Rock N Rolla, my first real introduction to Ritchie and his ways in a British crime flick.  I loved it just like I loved this one.  The strongest aspect of the movies for me -- besides the stories -- are the characters, and there are a lot of them...too many to even keep straight without charts and graphs identifying and categorizing how everyone is connected.  The heart of these characters is the four friends, Bacon, Tom, Soap and Eddie, in their misadventures to get a crapload of money to save their lives.  Using them as an example, you get a sense of Ritchie's writing flair.  The dialogue among these old friends is quick and snappy, zingers thrown left and right, a natural give and take as they talk.  Statham has gone on to be the biggest star here, but the cast as whole (and not just these four) all fit together perfectly, just like the story does.

Trying to give you an idea of what I mean concerning the story, here's an attempt to identify all the key players.  Brace yourself, it's a doozy.  First, there's Winston (Steven Mackintosh) and his three-man crew, a bunch that grows and sells marijuana by the kilo and does it successfully. Winston works for Rory Breaker (Vas Blackwood), a black guy with an afro typically identified as a lunatic. Plank (Steve Sweeney) buys from Winston and is a low-level thug for Dog (Frank Harper), who has an idea to rob Winston's lab for all his weed and cash on-hand. Meanwhile, Harry's muscle, Barry the Baptist (Lenny McClean), is working with two of the lowest level of thieves, Gary and Dean (Victor McGuire and Jake Abraham), to get a pair of shotguns for Harry. All this time, Big Chris (Vinnie Jones) works as a collector, intimidating and bullying for Harry. Middleman Nick the Greek (Stephen Marcus) is trying to keep countless plates spinning, working deals with just about everyone else already mentioned. Oh, and Sting plays Eddie's dad, JD.

Enough for you?  Yeah, me too.  There's something I'm missing here as I try and explain why this movie works. I just can't put my finger on it.  It's funny, genuinely laugh out loud funny. It's got plenty of action, gunfights, shootouts and brawls throughout.  It's got style to spare, and more than enough story for two or three of the most convoluted Seinfield episodes ever. The soundtrack is full of Indie, punk and Brit rock (check it out HERE) It has a low-budget look to it that appeals to me because it isn't so spic and span, so perfectly polished. Directing and writing the movie, Ritchie clearly had a ton of fun putting it all together. It is painfully obvious to see why. The movie deserves the cult following it has received over the last 10-years plus.

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels <---trailer (1998): *** 1/2 /****