The Fall of the House of Usher

How about some unlikely pairings for today's review? Director/producer extraordinaire Roger Corman is the master of the B-movie across countless genres. What author/writer do you think he used as sources for eight of his movies? It's a name I would have never thought of if you gave me a week to think about it. That writer? A mildly well-known 19th century writer by the name of Edgar Allan Poe. His short story was the inspiration for 1960's The Fall of the House of Usher.

Riding out to a worn-down mansion on desolate land in New England, Philip Winthrop (Mark Damon) is trying to find his fiance. When he arrives at the mansion, Winthrop is met by his fiance's menacing older brother, Roderick Usher (Vincent Price), who insists that Philip should just ride away and forget anything and everything about his fiance. He is dumbfounded at the thought and especially confused at Roderick's continuing insistence that he leave and have nothing to do with his younger sister, Madeline (Myrna Fahey), who similarly hasn't told Philip anything about her background or what Roderick is trying to hide. After almost non-stop badgering to find out exactly what's going on, Philip finally gets the truth. The house of Usher is cursed, and it's only a matter of time before Madeline finally cracks.

I read my fair share of Edgar Allan Poe in high school in English classes, but this short story -- originally published in 1939 -- was not one of them. 'Usher' comes from American International Pictures which had previously been known for cheap, black and white flicks made for double-bills and drive-in theaters. Not anymore with some money pumped into things courtesy of change of pace movies like this. I watched it on the MGM HD channel, and my goodness, it was a good-looking movie. Filmed completely on an indoor set with a small cast, 'Usher' is a small-scale, impending doom type of story. It's all about mood and that building sense of the twist to come. So...

Yeah, it never really clicks, not for me at least. I was expecting more from a Corman film working off a screenplay from Richard Matheson with Vincent Price in the lead. It's a short movie at just 79 minutes long (some versions are slightly longer), but it feels much, much longer. Not having read Poe's short story, I can't criticize what did or didn't make the jump but for all the mood and tension building, 'Usher' is surprisingly dull. How many times can Damon's Philip ask the same questions without getting any real answers about the supposedly cursed Usher family? Maybe I was expecting a bigger, better twist when it is revealed, but nearing the hour-mark I had pretty much checked out. Winthrop arrives at the house, talks to Roderick, hangs out, has some mysterious conversations about the Usher family and its background and just persistently sticks around. Meh, I'll pass as it never really comes together.

So there is some recognizable names here with a cast that totals just four speaking parts. Vincent Price is one of the masters of the horror genre and is always a welcome addition to a cast. Here, his Roderick Usher -- rocking a platinum blonde haircut -- is far from his best work. He chews the scenery like his paycheck depended on it as his different ailments wear him down from his sensitive hearing and sense of smell to his intense dislike of being touched. It's an oddball part for sure, one I didn't quite know what to make of. A rising star who never quite became a star, Damon is more on edge here in an uncomfortable, awkward part. Maybe because we're dropped into the story with no real background, but his love for Madeline seems a little much, especially when Roderick starts spouting off about the Usher curse and all that fun stuff. You know, if curses on your wife bother you.

As the seemingly cursed Madeline, Fahey is all right but underused as a key character who just isn't on-screen enough to leave much of an impression. And because every possibly haunted mansion in the country needs a doorman and butler, Harry Ellerbe plays Bristol, the oft-maligned houseman for the Usher home, always looking worried and always trying Philip to bail.

It isn't the big twist or revelation that works in the final act here in 'Usher.' It's more of a surprise that Price's Roderick has for Philip. The reveal of that surprise does work, but it gets lost late as some supernatural family hijinks take over. A disappointment overall. I'm not a huge horror fan, but this one sure sounded like it had some potential only to fall short in the end.

The Fall of the House of Usher (1960): * 1/2 /****

The St. Valentine's Day Massacre

I grew up in Chicago so I love just about everything in the Windy City, all the sports teams, the downtown area, all that great food from Chicago style hot dogs to Chicago style pizza. But that Chicago history? My goodness, there are some dark moments from the Black Sox scandal to the Chicago Fire, the riots at the 1968 Democratic convention and generally all sorts of political corruption and deception. One of the most violent incidents in the city's history? That's told in a 1967 B-movie, The St. Valentine's Day Massacre.

It's early 1929 and the streets of Chicago are filled with warring gangsters from two rival gangs. On one side is Al Capone (Jason Robards), a brutal, possibly maniacal Italian gangster with Mafia ties, who rules Chicago's South Side with an iron fist. Running the city's North side is George 'Bugs' Moran (Ralph Meeker), his Irish gang trying to hold onto their territory.  Things across the city are building to an unavoidable confrontation as both sides fight for control of thousands of speakeasies, Prohibition still raging. Capone has grown tired of Moran's gang trying to build up their power and has put into work a plan to execute his rival gang leader. Can one gang win out over the other? Can anyone win with the city's streets riddled with bullets and blood?

Everyone's heard of producer/director extraordinaire Roger Corman? He's one of Hollywood's all-time greats at getting movies made on the cheap so basically the King of B-Movies. That's not a bad thing, and I say it as a compliment. This generally forgotten 1967 gangster flick is one of his best, telling the true story of one of Chicago's darkest moments. It was filmed on studio streets -- cheaper than Chicago's downtown area -- but it works, giving the city a closed in, wintery and claustrophobic effect. This is a flick that works almost like a quasi-documentary, like something you'd see on The History Channel...but darker, much darker. With narrator Paul Frees and his perfectly gravelly voice laying things out, introducing dates, people and times, it all fits together like puzzle pieces.

Where 'Massacre' separates itself from the quasi-documentary feel is that darkness, that gangster world we're thrust into. Low budget though it may be, the movie looks great with countless gangsters wearing impeccably cool suits with fedoras, rocking vicious tommy guns and 1920s boats of cars that look as cool as ever now in 2014 as they would have in 1929. As for the real life gangsters, this isn't The Godfather where you kinda sorta maybe sympathize with the Corleones, however vicious and murdery they are. There ain't a single sympathetic character anywhere in sight. These are nasty, brutal, violent folks interested in making money and killing some rival gangsters in the process. You're not rooting for anybody. You're not hoping these guys come out unscathed. You just wanna see how it all shakes out and who's gonna make it. Let me tell you...not many do.

One of the coolest aspects of 'Massacre' is its ridiculously deep cast. We're not talking a disaster flick type of cast full of aging A-list stars. We're talking a couple very solid movie stars/actors at the top and a cast backing them up absolutely packed to the guts with familiar, recognizable character actors. As for the leads, Robards is terrifyingly hammy as everyone's favorite Chicago gangster, Al Capone. He's got that look in his eye, you just never know what he's going to do next. Meeker is excellent too in a more understated but just as sinister part, Bugs Moran, an Irish gangster and Capone's main rival for power. Also look for a young George Segal in one of his best early roles, playing Peter Gusenberg, one of Moran's enforcers/lieutenants working closely with his brother, another enforcer, Frank (David Canary) while constantly fighting with live-in girlfriend (Jean Hale).

Okay, brace yourself because you're about to get hit with a whole lot of links to actor's IMDB pages. These are all the real-life people involved in the 1920s world of Chicago gang wars, an extremely interesting historical time if you're interested in the subject matter. On the Capone side keep an eye out for Clint Ritchie as the massacre's mastermind, Frank Silvera, Harold J. Stone, Paul Richards, Joe Turkel, Alex Rocco, Leo Gordon, John Agar, and Richard Bakalyan and Jack Nicholson (Yes, that Jack Nicholson) as two hired mafia killers. On the Moran side of things, watch for Bruce Dern, Kurt Kreuger, Tom Reese. Some appearances are quicker than others, but it's cool to see so many people in one movie, even if it is only for a scene or two.

Just an entertaining dark and dirty movie. If you're a fan of history whether it be Chicago or gangsters or anything in between, this gritty, cynical, particularly vicious flick is for you. I loved it.

The St. Valentine's Day Massacre (1967): *** 1/2 /****

Von Richthofen and Brown

The name Manfred von Richthofen may not ring a bell with a lot of people, but his nickname certainly will....or it should at least. That name you ask? That would be the Red Baron, a German fighter pilot from WWI who became the most famous fighter pilot of all-time. His life has been made into several films and books, but this one....well, it ain't especially good. Please read on anyways! It's 1971's Von Richthofen and Brown, an interesting title if there ever was.

As World War I rages across Europe, a young German officer, Manfred von Richthofen (John Phillip Law) transfers from the cavalry to an air squadron of fighter pilots. He picks up flying quickly and it's only a matter of time before he becomes an ace himself. His fame spreads across both sides, both German and British pilots fearing and respecting him. As his fame and notoriety rises, Richthofen's ego grows, but it's more than that as he starts to see the tide of war turn toward the Allies. Across the lines at British airfields, a new Canadian pilot has arrived, Roy Brown (Don Stroud), with some new thoughts on how the air war should be handled. Two very different pilots with very different outlooks, both Richthofen and Brown seem destined to meet on a collision course as the war wears on. 

From movies like Top Gun, Red Tails, and Behind Enemy Lines to older movies like Wings, The Dawn Patrol and Twelve O'Clock High and countless movies in between, audiences have long had a fascination with aerial combat. An untapped source of said movies is World War I, the first war to feature aerial combat of any sort. We've got entries like Flyboys, a throwback type film, entertaining if highly cliched, like The Blue Max, a bit long in the tooth with lots of potential that I should rewatch soon. Where does this 1971 entry fall? Well, it ain't good for starters. As a counter though, it doesn't have a ton of potential to begin with. We're talking a real winner here, huh? I had modest expectations heading into this flick -- there just isn't much in the way of World War I movies out there -- but I managed to come away disappointed.

It's never a good start when your two title characters have the on-screen personality of brooding, annoying and boring pieces of cardboard. I always thought John Phillip Law was a likable enough on-screen presence if not exactly a huge acting presence. The script does him no favors, but Law is downright boring as one of the most famous war heroes ever. Early on, he's an idealistic, capable soldier who revels in each of his kills. With each passing month, Richthofen becomes more and more disillusioned with the war and its cost. And then there's Stroud as Roy Brown, an actor who typically played a villain, a bad guy, a nut bag, or any and all. Wow, this performance is just bad. Stroud's Brown hates war and all its horrors. Interesting premise, huh? I don't know if he had one line that wasn't some preaching, whiny, condescending about the profoundly awful qualities of war. A dud for both potentially very interesting characters.

Made on the relative cheap from director Roger Corman, 'Richthofen' certainly tries to be a good movie. There's an abundance of aerial sequences, WWI era planes in one dogfight after another. Yeah, there's too actually too many of such sequences, and they all seem to have been filmed over one particular field. The editing just goes on and on with no real flow to the dogfights. Making it worse, the narration from Richthofen, Brown and several other pilots/officers/commanders rambling on and on about their problems, the pressure, the knowledge that death awaits them at any minute. Even composer Hugo Friedhofer's score can't save this dreck.

Lookie here, there ain't too much to say here. I didn't like this movie, and it has little to nothing to recommend. It's dull and does little in 99 minutes. There aren't any other characters/performances worth mentioning, and the only two I did mention weren't very good. My personal favorite in the most cringe-worthy department was Stroud's Brown examining a wounded, possibly dead pilot. He yells at everyone to get back, examines the body himself, and then says in almost sing-songy fashion "Well, he's dead!" and walks away. You couldn't make it up if you tried. It plays fast and loose with the historical facts, and it's just a bad, dull movie.

Von Richthofen and Brown (1971): */****

The Fast and the Furious (1955)

No, not that Fast and the Furious unfortunately. This B-movie from 1955 named The Fast and the Furious has no relation other than its title to the successful drag racing-fast car-cool action franchise that will release its sixth film in theaters this May. Nope, this one is just a lousy, dull B-movie made on the cheap that just doesn't have much going for it.

Wrong accused of murder, Frank Webster (John Ireland) is on the run. He claims he's innocent, but he's wanted for the murder of a truck driver he was accused of driving off the road, the driver killed in the process. He's on the run in southern California, but when a vigilante-like trucker asks too many questions, he becomes desperate, kidnapping race car driver Connie Adair (Dorothy Malone). With the beautiful captive/hostage along for the ride in her souped-up racing jalopy, Webster must come up with a plan to evade the police. His best option is what Connie was on her way to, a road race that briefly crosses into Mexico. Posing as a race car driver, Webster tries to get in, but his chances seem slim, and Connie isn't going to make it easy on him.

Aired in late March as part of a Turner Classic Movies theme night, 'Furious' caught my attention because I'll watch just about any racing/car movie. It was lightly recommended to me via Netflix, but because it runs just 74-minutes, I didn't want to waste a rental on such a short movie (my worries were well-founded by the way). It sounded pretty cheesy, but in that 1950s cornball cheesy way that can be appealing. I was wrong. It's not entertaining and just doesn't have anything worth recommending. In other words, this isn't going to be too long of a review. It stunk, and that's all.

Working with Edward Sampson, star and co-director Ireland were at the helm of this one that's also produced and written by B-movie master Roger Corman. It was made on the cheap, and it looks it, but that's far from the biggest problem here. The story itself is ridiculous, and the issues are hamstrung even more by the miniscule budget. An "epic manhunt" is meant to corner and capture Ireland's Webster, but they don't have a picture of him anywhere to distribute? He's stopped by cops who even when they question him don't realize he's a wanted fugitive. And a road race is the best way out of the country? Yes, I know, it's a way to get some cool racing footage into an otherwise pretty pointless story, but come on, show a little effort. Cheap is one thing, downright dumb another. Much of the driving scenes are aided by some horrifically cheap, out of place green-screen scenes where Ireland is in a studio while the background flies by behind him. Yeah, cheapness!

If there is a positive, and I'm straining for one at this point, it is the racing footage. We get to see some cool 1950s race cars in action. 'Fast' filmed in the California hills, and the racing scenes are pretty cool with some impressive crowds providing a somewhat realistic backdrop. That's about it. Fast cars are cool.

Then there's the acting, Ireland and Malone spending much of the time delivering some of the worst, most truly stilted dialogue I've ever heard. Because the story requires it, they fall in love with each other sometime after a hungry Malone is offered food on a picnic from the cantankerous, annoyed Ireland. I'm totally serious there. He steals food for a picnic, and she falls for him. Then, Connie spends the rest of the movie trying to convince Webster to turn himself in and prove his innocence. But NO! He's got to escape to Mexico via a popular road race! Yes, an inexperienced driver handling himself in a road race. Uh, I'm out of things to rip about this movie, and I've said too much already. Bad, badder and baddest.

The Fast and the Furious (1955): */****

Creature from the Haunted Sea

For years growing up I watched Svengoolie on late night Saturday television, reveling in the badness of the movies the show broadcast each week. They would poke fun at really awful, poorly made and typically sci-fi and horror movies that look to be made for about $12.60 (give or take a couple bucks). Much of the time, these movies were intended to be awful, and that's the fun of watching them. The opening credits sequence each week showed one shot from a movie I'd never been able to find until recently, a genuinely funny and bad movie, 1961's Creature from the Haunted Sea.

The movie comes from master of schlock himself, director and producer extraordinaire Roger Corman who handles both duties this time. At a brisk 63 minutes, this is one of the most ridiculously fun movies I've watched in awhile. Corman famously titled his autobiography 'How I Made a Hundred Movies in Hollywood and Never Lost a Dime,' and it is easy to see why. These were movies that were meant to be fun to watch, not ones you leave the theater or drive-in talking about how good the acting was or how strong the script was. You leave laughing about the wooden, hammy acting, the poorly made 'creature,' and as was the case here, the amazingly bad narration. A bad movie that knows it is bad, and it is better for it.

It's Cuba in 1959, and the Batista regime has collapsed (didn't think that was going to be in this review now, did you?), leaving army and government officials to flee the country. Exiled American mobster Renzo Capetto (Antony Carbone) has cut a deal with some of these officials to help transport the Cuban treasury out of the country. On board is his gang -- including babely girlfriend Mary-Belle (Betsy Jones-Moreland) -- and a FBI agent deep undercover, code name XK150 (Robert Towne), working to stop the mobster. Capetto has a plan though, start killing off the Cuban officials and the soldiers with them, blaming the killings on a mythical sea creature in the Gulf of Mexico. Everything seems to be going along swimmingly, but even Capetto couldn't have planned on this happening. The monster he made up? It's real, and it's gunning for them.

I think I should point something out before I get into anything. There are bad movies, and there are bad movies. Some have all the right intentions -- workable budget, good cast, promising story -- and just end up being awful, like Battlefield Earth. Others have none of the right intentions. Lowly budget, bad cast, and mind-numbingly stupid story. That's where this movie falls, but it rises above the schlock because it is trying to be that bad. It wants to be stupid. So because it seeks to be intentionally bad -- and therefore a lot more entertaining -- it is actually smart if you ask me. You have to work at being this bad, this stupid, without going too far and just being obnoxious. Who better to tread that fine line than Roger Corman? I can't think of a director/producer better suited to do it. He made a career of doing just that.

Let's start with the "creature" which has to be the most ridiculous movie monster ever. Cast member Beach Dickerson said it was made from a wetsuit, some moss, lots of Brillo pads, tennis balls for the eyes, ping pong balls for the pupils, and pipecleaners for the claws with black oilcloth applied to make him look slimy. You know what? It is a monster that looks like it is made of a wetsuit, moss, Brillo pads, and oil, probably all for about eight bucks. He's just a killing machine, going about randomly taking all these bad guys out. Capetto's creation is hilarious because the actual monster kills in exactly the same way the mobster dispatched the Cubans. So in the water, Capetto has a plunger and a rake, swimming after these unlucky Cuban exiles and taking them out. The best is saved for last so keep reading, I don't want to spoil it just now.

As was par for the course with the ridiculous story was the ridiculous casting, bad acting for the sake of bad acting. Carbony's Capetto is the straight man to it all, the "diabolical" mind behind it all.  Monahan gets to sex it up as Mary-Belle, the girlfriend and gun moll along for the adventure. Capetto's gang includes Mary-Belle's younger brother, a dim-wit named Happy Jack (Robert Bean), and an oddball who became unhinged at some point and communicates via animal noises, Pete (Dickerson). Towne as Agent XK150 is the stupidest secret agent I've ever seen, hiding his radio in raw hot dog pieces and a relish jar, telling his superiors they're heading to Bali when they're heading to Puerto Rico. His narration is a scream, describing in idiotic detail everything that's happening, including my favorite "I knew it was dusk because the sun was setting." There are other characters -- an island mama who likes animal Pete, her slutty daughter, and the Cuban general, appropriately named General Tostada -- but it doesn't matter. They're there to get eaten or attacked in some gruesome fashion.

There are countless priceless scenes I could mention here. XK150 falls for Mary-Belle who wants nothing to do with him, even when he tries to woo her, all but telling her he's a secret agent. Capetto killing Cubans with a plunger and rake. XK reads off a list of aliases, all of them virtually identical. That's probably the best thing in the whole movie, Towne's narration. He delivers it in straight-fashion, completely dead pan, letting the humor still hit you like a brick wall.  The final shot is spot-on perfect too, the creature having killed everyone but XK150 and his new love interest. XK's narration states "I got the girl, and the monster got the gold" at which point we see the creature chilling on the chest of gold/money/treasure at the bottom of the ocean. Sublimely perfect is you ask me. I loved this movie, and laughed at it more than I have a lot of comedies.  So awful, so mind-blowingly stupid that you can't help but like it.

Creature from the Haunted Sea <---trailer (1961): ***/****

I Escaped from Devil's Island

Just a few days ago I reviewed 1973's Papillon starring Steve McQueen and Dustin Hoffman, a story about one man's continuing desperate attempts to escape from the French Guiana penal system in South America.  It's a big movie with its two Hollywood stars and generally has a polished, professional look to it.  It has the feel that you're watching what a movie should be.  So what if you took out the good acting, music, script and general sense of talent with a similar story?  That's 1973's I Escaped From Devil's Island.

Director/producer extraordinaire Roger Corman was one smart cookie, making a career out of one-upping the major studios. So when news hit Hollywood that Papillon with McQueen and Hoffman was being released, Corman and his studio raced to film and finish this epically bad B-movie and get it in theaters first.  Well, he accomplished his goal, 'Devil's Island' reaching theaters a month before Papillon.  But you know what?  Timing only means so much.  Quality helps too regardless of the date released.  This is an awful movie with the lowest of production values, a story that meanders around like it's confused, and a general feel of extreme boredom.  Enough for you?

It's in the 1910s in French Guiana on Devil's Island, and prisoner Lebras (Jim Brown) is about to be sentenced to death via the guillotine.  But right as the blade is about to fall, Lebras is saved as his death sentence is commuted to life in prison.  For this man, it means the same thing, and he goes about preparing his escape.  Everything is stacked against him because no one has ever successfully escaped from Devil's Island.  But with help from a trio of fellow prisoners, Devert (Christopher George), a Socialist, Jo-Jo (Richard Ely), a gay pickpocket, and Dazzas (James Luisi), Lebras puts his plan into effect. Battling everything the jungle has to offer, the quartet desperately runs, hoping to reach freedom before vicious guards and trackers catch them, or worse, Mother Nature dispatches them.

I feel kind of stupid even writing that much about the plot from a movie where the title gives everything away.  Some reviews I've read point to the movie being pure entertainment, no pretensions about being anything else.  Maybe I was watching the wrong movie, but I was bored to tears.  Filmed on an extremely low budget, 'Devil's Island' is certainly mimicking the much better Papillon with everything from story and sub-plots to the clothes the prisoners and guards wear.  But shot on location in Acapulco, this one reeks of cheapness.  I've said in the past low budget isn't a bad thing, and I stand by that statement, but when a movie is this bad it's hard to defend.

So with a B-movie and its lower standards, Corman and director William Witney basically get away with murder.  This movie has it all...excessive cursing, graphic violence with bright red fake blood included, gratuitous nudity, and a feel of out and out nastiness from start to finish.  The guards are sadistically evil with no redeeming qualities (Richard Rust and Eduardo Rosas Lopez play the worst offenders of guards), half the prisoners are flamboyantly gay and still manage to find lipstick in the South American jungle, and each and every prisoner is ready to turn on the other at any moment.  Even with an exploitation movie, I was somewhat surprised by the content that made it through the censors.  This is a coarse, never subtle B-movie that if nothing else certainly pushes the limits of decency.

Browsing through movies you can watch through Netflix's site, I stopped on this one because I liked the two stars, former NFL star Jim Brown and Rat Patrol star Christopher George.  Both actors are certainly slumming it here.  Brown was never an actor's actor, never in a whole lot of "classic" movies.  He made movies that fans liked and kept them entertained.  This part at least tries to be entertaining, but with a lack of any coherent script to unite things, Brown's character, Ledras, is not given any sort of background or back story.  He growls a lot and does his fair share of fighting and bedding down the ladies.  George has the more interesting of the parts, a leader of a Socialist group of prisoners, but that sub-plot is dropped almost as soon as it's brought up.  The only other name actor I recognized was Paul Richards who plays the one-armed prison commandant who mumbles his way through his part.

So if you're still reading, hopefully by now you've figured out this is an awful excuse of a movie.  There are no real redeeming qualities anywhere in sight, and nothing really to recommend at all.  The music by composer Les Baxter is laughably bad and out of place, mixing cliched action sounds with a smooth, cool jazz score. I think the weirdest thing I can say about this movie is a unique form of a torture I'm familiar with, but have never seen in a movie.  A guard goes after a prisoner and gives him a tittie twister, and not a quick one. We're probably talking a minute or two, on-screen and in sight all the time.  Yes, that's all I can recommend.

I Escaped from Devil's Island <---clip (1973): */****    

Five Guns West

I'm guessing no matter how hard I try I won't be able to see all the movies Roger Corman has made over the years.  By IMDB's count, there are 395 he produced, 56 he directed, and over 100 more that he was involved with in one way or another.  The ones I've seen I have enjoyed, mostly in a guilty pleasure sort of enjoyment. Well-made for the most part if on the cheap side, his movies would serve as a definition of what a B-movie can be.  They're not all winners, like 1955's Five Guns West which Corman directed.

I've seen horror, sci-fi, war movies, all directed/produced by Corman, but this is the first western of his I've watched.  It's pretty typical of many 1950s B-westerns that were churned out by the dozen for double features and drive-ins.  Generic story, small cast, heavy on dialogue but not enough action, and with some discrepancies that should have cost someone their jobs no matter how cheap the movie is/was.  Years ago, I saw this DVD at Amazon and almost picked it up because it looked like a mix of The Magnificent Seven, spaghetti westerns, and The Dirty Dozen.  Here's the DVD. I of course later found out that the 'Guns' DVD actually rips off the art of Guns of the Magnificent Seven.  It all comes together every once in awhile.

During the Civil War, the Confederacy is in desperate need of soldiers and recruits convicts, thieves and murderers to perform dangerous missions in exchange for pardons.  Five such recruits have been picked for a mission that is key to Confederate success going forward.  The men include Govern Sturges (John Lund), Hale Clinton (Mike Connors), J.C. Haggard (Paul Birch), and the Candy brothers, John (R. Wright Campbell) and Billy (Jonathan Haze). The group of five must ride across the frontier, tangling with Union patrols and Indian war parties, to get to a stagecoach station where a coach loaded with $30,000 in gold is due to arrive.  Waiting for them though is a woman, Shalee (Dorothy Malone), who sparks an interest in all of them, but can they stick together long enough to get the job done?

For a western released in 1955, I'll give credit when it's due.  The story is far from hard-hitting or original, but Corman presents five main characters, none of whom are particularly likable.  Even Robert Aldrich in The Dirty Dozen made a couple somewhat respectable characters.  They're at each others' throats almost from the word go, and it is only a matter of time before they do turn on each other.  Getting there is the hard part though.  The movie is only 78 minutes long, but there's about 45 minutes of story here.  For those other 33 minutes, we get lots of filler, repetitious dialogue scenes, unnecessarily long riding across the horizon shots, those sort of award winning film techniques.

Filling out the cast is a group of actors who do little to inspire confidence in what you're about to watch.  Connors was years away from playing Mannix, Malone was a B-movie star who never hit it big, Lund is as vanilla a "hero" as I've seen in awhile, and the rest are more bad than anything.  Haze as the psycho brother Billy had potential, but he's more of a child lunatic than anything.  If I counted correctly, he bitches "I'm sick of waiting/I'm sicking of sitting around!" in four straight scenes.  His brother John is supposedly more menacing, but nothing really comes of it.  Of the five, three end up getting shot, one rides away, and the fifth....eh, who cares.  It ends happily enough.

Now on to some discrepancies which pissed me off.  The story takes place in 1867 or if I've done my math correctly....two years AFTER the end of the Civil War.  First, how did that line placing things in 1867 even make it into the script, and two, how did any somewhat intelligent person let it through all the various stages of filming? Okay, maybe that was a dumb mistake/accident.  But then there's a stagecoach carrying $30,000 in gold with an important Confederate turncoat aboard, and it's guarded by four soldiers.  I don't care how small your budget is, put some freaking guards on that loaded stagecoach.  Then there's the western afficionado in me that is bothered by the fact all the participants are using guns that weren't designed for another 10 years, but I do my best to ignore that voice in my head whenever possible.

At 78 minutes, the story still finds a way to rush through the final twist -- not much of a surprise -- and the ending shootout.  Tension has been building the first hour as these five hold off killing each other because otherwise the movie would have been over in about 20 minutes.  Then when they finally turn on each other, all that tension and drama gets thrown out the window.  There were some great chances for some epic one-on-one showdowns that just never materialize.  Movie over, and 78 minutes I won't be getting back anytime soon.

Five Guns West <---clip (1955): */****

The Secret Invasion

Released in 1967, Robert Aldrich's The Dirty Dozen came along at just the right terms for movie audiences with its cynical tone and generally pessimistic look at society and any sort of hierarchy and power.  The story of 12 convicts chosen to take part in a suicide mission just before D-Day was unlike anything audiences had seen.  To Aldrich's credit, he made the premise unique and damn entertaining.  Really though, the idea of convicts turned commandos had been used countless times before.

Take 1964's The Secret Invasion from the master of schlock, low-budget B-movies, director Roger Corman. The cult director made a career of doing a lot with very little in terms of money in the budget as well as producing some 300-plus movies.  But when given the chance, Corman showed what he was able to do with even a mid-sized budget like in 1964's The Secret Invasion, a WWII story that uses the same basic premise as Dirty Dozen.  Don't be confused though, 'Invasion' is still a B-movie without any notion of being anything else.  On the highly positive side, it's a prime example of how good a B-movie can be when everything goes right.

Stationed in Cairo in 1943, British Major Richard Mace (Stewart Granger) has assembled a dubious crew to help him on a dangerous mission in the Balkans.  From prisons and penitentiaries all around the world, Mace has assembled a crew of criminals -- all experts in one way or another -- to join him.  Just days away from the Allied invasion of Italy, Mace and his team will sneak into the Balkans and help an Italian general (Enzo Fiermonte) escape from a heavily guarded German prison.  With the general's help, Mace hopes to turn the Italian forces against the Germans, making the Allied invasion even a little bit smoother.  First though, the major has to worry about keeping his team of crooks in line, many of them willing to shoot him and escape the first chance they get.

Now with a B-movie -- even a really good one like this -- you can't expect a bunch of A-listers starring.  Instead, you get something better.  Actors you know and have seen countless times but usually in supporting roles.  Some were past their prime and others still on the rise.  Corman hits a home run with the casting of his dirty half-dozen including Raf Vallone as Rocca, a mafioso and expert planner of strategy, Mickey Rooney as Scanlon, an IRA explosives expert, Edd Byrnes as Fell, the master forger, Henry Silva as Durell, the hired assassin, and William Campbell as Saval, a master of disguise and deception.  These were all solid character actors given a shot at starring roles, and the ensemble doesn't disappoint.

With any 'men on a mission' movie, there's a certain dark element that makes them intriguing.  By the end, you know most if not all won't make it so early on make your choices.  'Invasion' certainly has some fun with this notion as to who survives and how.  The cast is clearly having some fun with these cardboard cutouts for roles.  Vallone as the reliable second in command speaks in that heavily accented English and certainly makes a positive impression, as does Silva as the dead-eyed killer.  But by far, the most surprising and enjoyable part is for Rooney as the half-mad Irishman and explosives expert.  Playing completely against type -- as he would do again two years later in B-movie Ambush Bay -- Rooney absolutely steals the movie.

As much as I like a good, old-fashioned long movie (even The Dirty Dozen was 150 minutes long), a quick-paced B-movie can be just as enjoyable.  With his 95-minute movie here, Corman keeps the story going at all times with some snappy dialogue or a quick action set-piece.  The story flies by and never really slows down.  It's never long before the half-dozen find themselves in some sticky new situation they have to get out of.  Along the way, they dodge either, work with some partisans, and then finally must fight their way out of the German fortress.  Sounds easy, don't it?

Taking advantage of a bigger budget, Corman filmed in Yugoslavia and Croatia, giving the whole movie a unique, realistic feel to the proceedings.  The on-location shooting is great, but Corman saves the best for last.  Chased by hundreds of German soldiers, Mace's crew must escape up a seaside hill with the Germans close on their heels.  He clearly spent some money on this battle sequence with an epic feel.  Lots of extras working as German soldiers, explosions and shootouts galore, and some surprises as to who survives and who doesn't.  It's a great action sequence, and Corman almost lulls you to sleep early with so little action.  He certainly makes up for it in his finale.

I stumbled across this war flick at IMDB a few years back and am I ever glad I did.  It's exciting right from the start -- opening scenes included below -- and never really slows down.  Cool choices in casting, gorgeous locations, and a wham bang action finish.  Maybe it doesn't have the high hopes a movie like The Dirty Dozen did, but from master director/producer Corman, this is about as good as a B-movie can be!

The Secret Invasion <---opening (1964): *** 1/2 /****

Big Bad Mama

I've had a string of bad luck when it comes to movies lately with some real stinkers.  Thanks to TCM Underground, that string was busted up a little by 1974's Big Bad Mama.  It's a B-movie from producer Roger Corman that doesn't try to be anything other than entertaining and because of that, succeeds in a big way.  It has no concerns of a movie with a bigger message.  Instead, there's lots of action, car chases and nudity, basically the big 3 of B-movies.

Corman's flick plays with familiar territory of the 1930s gangsters and bank robbers that took America by storm during the Great Depression.  One of the most famous was Ma Barker, or so people thought, because in the 80 years since it has been proven that the Barker matriarch wasn't really a crook at all.  Using the notion that Ma Barker's legendary exploits were true, 'Bad Mama' is ever so loosely based on those exploits.  That is, if Ma Barker was about 40 years younger and looked like Angie Dickinson.  Minor sticking points if you ask me.

Fed up with not being able to provide a good life for her two teenage daughters, Texas mother Wilma McClatchie (Dickinson) hits the road.  With her daughters Billy Jean (Susan Sennett) and Polly (Robbie Lee) in tow, Wilma starts robbing banks, moonshining, pulling cons and basically anything else that will bring in some much-needed money.  Along the way, they form their own little gang with bank robber Fred Diller (Tom Skerritt) and down on his luck conman William Baxter (William Shatner) joining the trio of women.  They cut a path of crime through the southwest and into California with two clueless, bumbling detectives on their trail.

A 1930s gangsters story wouldn't seem to be the ideal choice for a lighthearted, sex romp, but if anybody could pull it off, it'd be Roger Corman.  All of the action scenes have a fast-paced banjo playing as the soundtrack and most of the violence is saved for the finale.  Sure, there's some gun battles sprinkled into the story, but 'Big Bad Mama' rivals The A-team for most shots fired with no one actually getting shot.  When the bullets actually do hit their mark, watch out for some 1970s bright red squibs.  The finale especially is over the top and ridiculous with Skerritt's Diller blasting away at cops with a tommy gun that never runs out of ammunition.

Lots of slapstick and generally low-brow humor throughout this B-movie.  Apparently though to get an R-rating, Corman had to tone down some of the nudity in the movie which is surprising considering how much was left in the finished product.  All the cast is nude at some point -- some more than others -- and I'd wager Dickinson and her two "daughters" spend a quarter or so of the movie either topless or completely naked.  It's a very 70s story in terms of the nudity, and it is never long before any two (and in one case three) of the five main cast members shack up.  It's surprising with Dickinson especially because she was an established actress, in movies and on TV with Police Woman starting the same year as Big Bad Mama was released.

This isn't going to be a very long review because let's face it, there isn't much to review.  The cast seems to having a good time, Shatner hams it up as only he can (watch this short scene), Skerritt plays the gun-crazy bank robber, and Dickinson is the oblivious mom gangster trying to help her kids and looking great doing it.  It is the trashiest of movies with plenty of nudity, lots of gunplay and violence and just enough story to keep things moving along.

Big Bad Mama <----trailer (1974): ** 1/2 /****

Ski Troop Attack

Being a night owl has its benefits when it comes to stumbling across movies. Awhile back, I flipped through the channels and found that one of Chicago's two PBS channels broadcasts public domain movies every morning at 2 a.m. Now in most cases, there's a reason they are public domain, but hey, if nothing else it saves me the $6 or 7 I'd have spent on those cheap DVDs you see at any number of stores. Like 1960's Ski Troop Attack, a good bad movie if there ever was.

Directed by cheapie director and B-movie master Roger Corman, you have to know what you're getting into when you see Ski Troop Attack. At just 63 minutes, it's short even for a short movie. But filming on what had to be a miniscule budget over a two-week period, Corman churned out a pretty bad B-movie that is so bad, it's actually pretty good. In other movies, like 1964's The Secret Invasion, Corman showed he was actually capable of making a quality movie, but four years earlier, he had this not-so classic WWII story.

It's winter 1944 in the Ardennes, and Lt. Factor (Michael Forest) is leading a four-man ski patrol behind German lines. Joining him are Sgt. Potter (Frank Wolff), a tough NCO who loves nothing more than a good fight with the Krauts, Pvt. Ciccola (Wally Campo), Pvt. Herman Grammelsbacher (Richard Sinatra), a Southern yokel who went through officer's training, and Pvt. Roost (second unit director Paul Rapp getting a shot on the other side of the camera), the radio operator. Out on patrol, they're caught up in a German advance, the Battle of the Bulge, and must decide what to do; head for their own lines or continue scouting behind the advance and radioing the info back in?

The positive of all this is Corman shot the movie in South Dakota in black and white and got some great footage of snow-capped mountains. The negative is that with the lack of budget/script/story, we get a lot of footage of the patrol skiing across these mountains. There's not a real flow to the story, just the patrol wandering around trying to avoid German soldiers, who never total more than 5 or 6 men, once again with the small budget. Late in the movie, Lt. Factor and the patrol do decide to blow up a key bridge with a German squad close behind them.

If you needed to introduce someone to a B-movie, this would be a good place to start with the cheapness of it obvious at all times. The German officer following them never gets a close-up, and we only hear someone talking in German, apparently a voiceover. The action scenes are similarly bad, a character shoots, a German soldier yells and falls, all blended in with archival war footage. There is a real doozy with the guns used with the patrol firing single-action rifles, but when fired, they sound like heavy-duty automatic machine guns.

Another gem is the jazzy, completely out of place music that plays almost constantly and loudly no matter whether the scene calls for it. Wolff's Potter almost falling to his death? Cue the saxophone solo! To be fair, it's not like the script helps the actors overcome any of these deficencies. Lines here are really only meant to move the patrol along. My personal favorite; 'Go help him, I'm going to climb that tree!' No joke, someone actually says that.

As negative as it all sounds, I did enjoy this movie in spite of all its cheesiness. Roger Corman never set out to make Gone With the Wind or Lawrence of Arabia, he was making low-budget B-movies that could be shown at drive in theaters across the country and around the world. If you stumble across this one, plop yourself down and enjoy the epic badness of it all.

Ski Troop Attack <---opening 5 minutes (1960): */****