John Wick

I looked at the description and thought "Nope. Just Nope." The movie was 2014's John Wick, and the theater's website described it as "Hit man comes out of retirement after mobsters kill his dog." I thought 'Man, there is no way that's good. There is no way I'm going to see it.' Then I heard the basically universal positive reviews, and I do like Keanu Reeves. Yeah, I watched it. Yeah, point John Wick. It's excellent.

John Wick (Reeves) is alone. After a battle with an unidentified illness, John's wife (Bridget Moynahan) passes away, leaving John wracked with grief and not knowing what to do next with his life. It's not long after her death though that John receives a present from her, something she set up before her death to be delivered. It's a puppy, one he bonds with instantly...until one night his home is raided by Russian mobsters who take his classic Ford Mustang and kill the dog. Well, they picked the wrong person to mess with. They don't know it, but John is a retired hit man, and not just any hired gun. He was the Best. John has focus again, and he intends to exact revenge on the gangsters who came after him. Their front man? Iosef Tarasov (Alfie Allen), the spoiled son of the gangster (Michael Nyqvist) who John used to work for. Nothing is gonna stop John so let the bullets fly.

So, yeah, that's pie on my face. I thought it sounded pretty dumb and looked kinda generic, but I'll admit when I'm wrong. I'M WRONG. I loved this movie. It comes from directors Chad Stahelski (formerly Reeves' stunt double) and uncredited David Leitch, and you know what? It's a bullet-riddled, bone-snapping, blood-splattered glorious mess. That's the beauty of it. There's no fat on the meat here. It's all choice. This...is...an...action...movie. Even John's wife dying is handled in quick but effective montages that last about 2 minutes. Then, it's back to the SHOOTING. That's the entire movie. Cool characters doing cool things with guns and an alarming and ever-increasing body count. You've gotta gives props when they're due. Stahelski, Leitch and Reeves set out to do a bare-bones shoot 'em up movie and succeeded across the board.

You'd never know it by looking at him, but Keanu Reeves is 51 years old. Seriously!!! The star of Bill and Ted, Speed, even The Matrix series, has grown up, but he's lost none of his edge. I thought this was one of his best parts in years, if not ever. Channeling anyone and everyone from Lee Marvin to Clint Eastwood to Steve McQueen, Reeves embraces all that is badass here. His John Wick is a legend, a killing machine with seemingly no equal who walked away from the business when he met his future wife. The name sends chills up the backs of those who hear it because they know what it means to cross this brutally efficient killer. Oh, and the physical look is there too. Reeves' long hair, coiffed beard, immaculate black suits, he looks cool. Throw in a classic 1969 Ford Mustang, and yep, you've got one uber-cool anti-hero in the spotlight.

The story itself is nothing too crazy. If anything, it's pretty basic, pissed off individual looking for revenge against the mob (of some sort). It manages to be entertaining throughout, paying tribute to countless movies before it while still claiming its own spot in the revenge genre. For starters, Reeves' John is channeling Lee Marvin in Point Blank or Alain Delon in any Jean-Pierre Melville caper. Stoic, almost silent and surgical in his job. As for the action and gunplay, that's obvious. That's a twist and new look on the style John Woo brought to the table (without the slow motion and doves). The gunplay is brutal, quick, hard-hitting and gone in a flash. The editing is aggressive and quick but never to the point where you can't see things. As well, the killer hell bent on revenge is another Woo touch. Kudos in general though here. A tribute film that claims its own status in the genre and does it well.

'Wick' creates its own world amidst all the bloody chaos, and that adds something. It has its own world. My favorite? The Continental Hotel in NYC caters exclusively to hit men and hired killers with owner Ian McShane and know-all desk attendant Lance Reddick. There are rules here that all must abide by, a code of sorts...until the payday offered is too lucrative to pass up. Among all our participants, a gold coin has quite the pull with Wick carrying a ton of them. Where do they come from? It goes unexplained but my guess; payment for jobs, and there's only so many out there. With a movie that looked like it would be pretty dumb, it's cool to see stylish touches like that sprinkled throughout a fast-moving story.

The cast across the board is excellent. Reeves leads the way, and Nyqvist is a gem as the Russian mobster caught in the middle. It'd be easy to ham it up, but he just goes with it, an intimidating mobster who finds himself in over his head. Allen is good as the weasel-like Iosef, a villain you can't wait to see get his comeuppance. Willem Dafoe is excellent as Marcus because...well, because he's Willem Dafoe. He's an assassin, the last of the old guard, an old friend of John's who gets involved whether he wants to or not. Dean Winters (Mayhem in TV commercials) plays Avi, Nyqvist's maligned right-hand man while Adrianne Palicki is Perkins, a killer with $ for eyes. Also look for John Leguizamo in a too-short performance as a chop shop owner, Moynahan appearing briefly as John's wife, and that McShane guy who is a welcome addition to any movie.

I won't delve into the action too much other than this. It's a gem. There is something straightforward, simple and primal about the shootouts here, Reeves' Wick navigating his way through small armies of rival gunmen. An assault on his home is a gem with a dozen killers trying to get him as is a shootout in a crowded nightclub with strobes all over and the music cranking. Stahelski clearly picked up a ton in his years as a stunt double, and it shows. The movie is packed to the guts with ridiculously stylized action sequences that don't overstay their welcome. A complete surprise, and one I was glad I was wrong about. I loved this movie. Definitely worth checking out.

John Wick (2014): *** 1/2 /****

To Live and Die in L.A.

I don't know what to say sometimes. I watch a movie and hmm, I just don't know where to start. When facing that issue, it's usually a bad thing, a movie so awful, so horrifically bad the words or criticisms just ain't there. Other times....yeah, this is the other time. A weird, scary, off-beat, violent and overall, just a damn excellent flick, 1985's To Live and Die in L.A.

Working out of the Los Angeles field office, Secret Service agent Richard Chance (William Petersen) is about to be without a partner as his longtime fellow agent (Michael Greene) is only days away from retirement. The partner instead turns up dead at a remote desert warehouse, and Chance knows who he was investigating, a professional counterfeiter, Eric Masters (Willem Dafoe), who they have long been after. Swearing to put away his friend and partner's killer, Chance will stop at nothing -- NOTHING -- to get Masters who has proved very elusive when it comes to proving his guilt. Saddled with a new partner, the more button-down John Vukovich (John Pankow), Chance follows the evidence where it may lead, but Masters has some trouble of his own. Who can get to the other one first? How far will either man go to get what they want?

With 1971's The French Connection and 1973's The Exorcist, director William Friedkin had one of the most impressive one-two punches of back-to-back films...well, ever. He followed them up with a string of movies that struggled -- for whatever reason -- to get any footing to the point that this 1975 cop thriller/drama is considered by some as his comeback of sorts. What a comeback it is. It works because of all its moving pieces. Stylish and innovative, it is very 1980's. It is equal parts dark, gritty, brutally violent and uncomfortable at times. And then for good measure, 'Live and Die' has a little art-house in its story and characters. Quite the mix, ain't it? This is the sort of movie that shouldn't work, but does it ever, almost in spite of flaws that would cripple most other movies.

Through his previous movies, Friedkin had shown his ability not just as a director, but as an auteur. He made films, not always movies. He was willing to try something different, to reach for something difficult, to not settle for the status quo. 'Live and Die' is a case in point. It's like a procedural cop drama/thriller...on steroids and cocaine with some LSD thrown in. Friedkin freaking GOES FOR IT. The style is schizophrenic, the score from Wang Chung incredibly 1980's, the violence in your face, and even some frontal male nudity, not to mention a whole lot of guy butt. Stylized, computer title cards show the progression of time, and Los Angeles ends up becoming an additional character, a charged-up backdrop to the ever-crazy story developments. How far will it go? How far will Petersen's Chance go? Getting there is more than half the fun. It is the definition of an unpredictable movie, and that is rarely a bad thing.

I grew up and will always associate William Petersen with O-N-E part...that of CSI's Gil Grissom. This was his first starring role, starting a handful of late 80's/early 90's flicks that seemed to indicate Petersen was going to be a star, a big one. It never quite came together, but my goodness, what a starring debut.  The rogue cop who plays by his rules -- laws, procedures and protocol BE DAMNED -- is absolutely nothing new to the genre, but Petersen injects a ridiculous amount of energy to Agent Chance. He brings balls. He brings swagger. He brings uber-confidence. How good? At a certain point, you're not even rooting for him anymore to the point he's unlikable but you just can't look away. Chance is manipulative, intimidating, not above breaking the law, and callously disinterested in anything that doesn't affect the case.

Part of it is the look. It is the mid 1980's, and Peterson's Chance wears tight jeans at all times, badass sunglasses, badass boots, badass leather jacket and...well...badass. He reeks of cool. He's an adrenaline junkie. He pushes his partner too far. He basically blackmails a parolee/informant (Darlanne Fluegel) into a sexual relationship. He threatens lives left and right, some being claimed. I keep coming back to swagger. There is a physicality to the part, Petersen running like a maniac through chases scenes, brimming with energy in interrogations, intimidatingly subtle when he wants something. What a part. What a performance. Clearly impacted by those cop movies before him (French Connection, Bullitt, Dirty Harry) and clearly an impact on those still to come.



Dafoe is terrifying just because he's Willem Dafoe and looks and appears terrifying. He's a villain. That's it. No real background or motivation, his Masters is just a supremely talented counterfeiter looking to make one big payday after another. Quite the match-up of stars, quite the cat and mouse game (but who's who?). Along with Fluegel and Pankow (an excellent supporting part of a conscious-riddled cop), look for John Turturro, Debra Feuer, and Dean Stockwell as a high-class, scumbag lawyer in key supporting parts.

When filming the famous French Connection car chase, Friedkin apparently wanted to do bigger and better but simply ran out of time. The run-off falls to this flick, and it does not disappoint. Chase and his new partner kidnap someone for reasons because of a case (Just Watch It) and things go horribly wrong in a bullet-riddled chase and shootout through Los Angeles' backroads, highways and of course, the Los Angeles River. The capper is an incredible driving sequence as Chase drives into incoming traffic in hopes of getting away relatively unscathed. It is an absolutely insanely tension-packed extended sequence, expertly shot, cut and edited by Friedkin and his crew that belongs on the same level as similar chases in Bullitt, French Connection and so many more I'm forgetting. An amazing sequence to watch.

What a crazy movie. I have a picture of Friedkin filming and editing his film, basically flipping the bird to anyone and everyone in front of him. I kept thinking while watching this thriller that 'Live and Die' was Friedkin as a renegade director before Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez took over that notion in the 1990's. Friedkin is -- simply put -- at the top of his game here. It's days later, and I'm still thinking about this one. It keeps building and building to one of the most surprising, trippiest finales I've ever seen. Genuine shock value on several different levels. Can't recommend this one enough. Also, one movie kept popping into my head as I watched this 1985 film as having a huge, profound impact on said newer film. That movie? Drive with Ryan Gosling. Watch both and tell me they couldn't be impeccable companion pieces.

To Live and Die in L.A. (1985): *** 1/2 /****

Out of the Furnace

I love a good movie trailer. I love the previews before the featured show. And some of them, they just reach out and grab you. Recently, the new Godzilla trailer caught my attention with some great visuals, great style and even better music. Released last year, 2013's Out of the Furnace caught my attention for different reasons. I should qualify that. Reason, singular. That cast. THAT CAST.

Russell Baze (Christian Bale) has spent his whole life in North Braddock, Pennsylvania, working at the local steel mill and carving out a rough hewn, tough life for himself. That life is torn from him one night when he drinks a little too much and gets in a car accident, two people killed in the other car. Russell is sent to prison and serves his sentence for manslaughter, finding his life even more uprooted when he gets out. Almost everything dearest to him has been taken away from him, his brother, Rodney (Casey Affleck), also in trouble. His younger brother is a veteran of multiple tours in Iraq and is struggling to cope, getting involved with a backwoods crime boss, Harlan DeGroat (Woody Harrelson). As he tries to pick up the pieces of his own life, Russell is now trying to save Rodney from himself too.

The trailer for this crime drama from director Scott Cooper caught my eye immediately. About just as quickly, the reviews started to come out criticizing the film. It wasn't that 'Furnace' wasn't good. It was more so that it wasn't as good as it could (and maybe should) have been. The reviews were pretty mixed, and it never gained any footing in theaters, earning a little over $14 million. Opinions will vary, but I liked this movie a lot. If there's a complaint, maybe it's that 'Furnace' is a little too familiar. It does feel like other movies, other crime dramas revolving around families and crime bosses operating on their own. It is dark, brutal and violent but the formula works, simple as that. It was filmed on-location in Pennsylvania and West Virginia where the story takes place, giving the story a gritty, authentic feel. Dickon Hinchliffe's musical score is okay but a few days later no themes really stick with me.

Christian Bale is on a short list of actors that I'll basically see anything they're in. I liked him a lot as Batman and love what he can do and has done with a variety of different roles. In a lot of ways, 'Furnace' reminded me of an ultra-gritty 1970s crime thrillers. It's the type of role that's easy to imagine Clint Eastwood or Steve McQueen playing, and Bale doesn't disappoint. Bale's Russell is that familiar but cool anti-hero, a good guy who's fallen on some tough times. What will he do to hopefully reverse that trend?  It's a matter of a guy getting out of his head and doing what needs to be done, even if none of that is the easy thing to do. This isn't a showy or flashy part, but Bale brings the character to life without any huge, dramatic monologues. His most emotional scene is a quiet, moving exchange with his ex-girlfriend (Zoe Saldana) as they meet for the first time in several years. The important thing is simple though. You're rooting for Russell, hoping he can figure things out in a solid lead performance from Mr. Bale.

But that cast! THAT CAST!!! Some reviews had some fun with the cast here in 'Furnace,' the trailers listing Academy Award winner/nominee, Golden Globe winner/nominee with seemingly every member of the cast. Harrelson is the downright nasty villain, his Harlan a drug-addicted, menacing criminal thug who doesn't have a redeeming thing going for him. It's fun to see villains like this, bad guys you love to hate. Affleck too is especially good as Rodney, Russell's younger brother who's struggling to readjust after returning from his tours in Iraq. Their relationship feels authentic from the get-go, two brothers who have always been close, one desperately trying to save the other. There's also Sam Shepard as Red, Russell's uncle who's very similar in demeanor to his nephew, Willem Dafoe as Petty, the local bar owner with his hand in some underhanded ventures, and Forest Whitaker as the local sheriff trying to keep his town somewhat in check as it threatens to implode. Hard to beat that collection of talent in one movie, huh?

This wasn't a classic movie, but I don't think it's trying to be. It is a good story with interesting characters and an equally interesting premise. The violence is startling and far from glamorous, not stylized like an action movie. So in that sense, 'Furnace' is quiet, moody movie that I enjoyed a lot. Appreciate the cast -- however big or small the role -- and watch this one. I feel like some viewers went in expecting an all-powerful movie that would rewrite the crime drama. It's just a good movie with an ending that's as dark and realistic as real life, not a duded up, forced ending.

Deal with it. Enjoy it.

Out of the Furnace (2013): ***/**** 

The Grand Budapest Hotel

Wes Anderson is one goofy, talented, eccentric director with a legion of devoted fans who love just about everything he does. I'm a fan of Anderson's films, but I don't love them. His humor can be too off the wall, his humor too subtle at times. Well, then there's 2014's The Grand Budapest Hotel, a hysterically dark, truly off the wall flick that Anderson fans will no doubt appreciate.

It's 1932 in the Republic of Zubrowka, and the concierge of the Grand Budapest Hotel, M. Gustave (Ralph Fiennes), has taken a protege under his wing, Zero Moustafa (Tony Revolori), a talented refugee working as one of the hotel's Lobby Boys. Zero is fascinated by everything about Gustave from his gentlemanly ways to his knowledge of anything and everything, especially his "relationships" with rich, older women who visit the hotel to specifically see him. When one of his favorite guests, Madame D. (Tilda Swinton), dies mysteriously, Gustave and Zero rush to her countryside villa to be there for the funeral. They're both stunned when they find out that Madame left almost everything in her will to Gustave, including one lucrative painting. The rest of the family is less than pleased and just a day later, Gustave is arrested for the murder of Madame D. With help from loyal Zero, can he escape jail and prove his innocence?

If there was ever a movie where a story/plot description could be misleading, this is it. Yes, the story is key with its twisting and turning reveals, its countless characters, its flashbacks within flashbacks. But as anyone who's seen a Wes Anderson movie, it is also far more than that. His movies are never just stories, using the screenplays as a huge jumping off point into a stylishly visual movie that basically defies description. With an Anderson flick -- when it works -- you can just sit back and let it wash over you. Very much qualifying in that department, 'Budapest' succeeds on a stylistic level on its own. The visual is stunning at times. Anderson uses his familiar shooting technique, the camera shooting much of the action as if it was a stage play. It's more than that though. The camera and all its movements become a secondary character.

Some of these shots make the movie feel like a throwback to the days of pre-computer special effects. I imagine Anderson used some CGI at different points, but he never really relies on it. The pure variety of shots 'Budapest' uses is impressive in itself. Our first introduction to the hotel and its surrounding areas is done via miniatures, a little set built up that looks like a dollhouse. From there, the tone is set. Just about every scene looks like a painting painstakingly crafted by an artist full of bright, vivid, Earthy colors. Anderson films with his cast, close-ups as they ride a motorcycle, as they race down a mountain on a sled. It's clearly an effect but it appears almost effortless in execution. The closest, best description I can come up -- and I intend it as a compliment -- is that 'Budapest' looks and plays like a children's picture book, the story bouncing from page to page with almost reckless abandon. Style to burn, an essential element to Anderson's formula for success.

The extreme depth of the cast here shows what a director Anderson must be, one who actors and actresses desperately desire to work with. He has his fair of regulars who show up here, but this is a movie that belongs to Ralph Fiennes. Working with Anderson for the first time, Fiennes is an epically successful scene-stealer. It's a part that's hard to qualify because it works on so many levels. There's a rhythm to the dialogue that Fiennes takes to easily, his delivery rarely varying no matter who he's addressing. It's more than that too, Fiennes committing physically with some great visuals, a pitter-patter to the on-screen movements. His running style especially cracked me up, including one scene where he's confronted about the murder of Madame D. Gustave runs away, but he runs as a gentleman under control, not a man running for his life. There's too many funny scenes to mention, but almost all of them work. This is most definitely a character though, a gentleman who is vain, loves older women because they've gained life experience (among other things), full of pride, a strong boss, a loyal friend. We pick up all these little things that just work so well.

This performance comes through best in the scenes between Gustave and young Revolori as Zero, the Lobby Boy refugee who's lived on his own for years. Not quite father-son, not quite a brotherly relationship, it's somewhere in between, the protege and his mentor. The duo brings the screenplay to life from the drama to the laughs, the physical, almost screwball comedy to the international chases. I loved both characters, even the quasi-rivalry that develops when Zero meets a beautiful young baker, Agatha (Saoirse Ronan), who Gustave is enchanted with as well. Just a great chemistry, a great one-two punch that carries the movie throughout.

Brace yourself for the rest of the cast. It is a doozy. In a framing device, Tom Wilkinson plays the author of a book about the hotel, Jude Law playing his younger representation, interviewing an older Zero, played by F. Murray Abraham. Because part of the fun is stumbling across the stars on-hand here, I won't go into a ton of detail as to their background or who they are. But just to list them is pretty crazy in itself so pull up a chair and get comfy. Some appearances are no more than a scene or two, but they're there just the same. There's Adrien Brody, Mathieu Amalric, Willem Dafoe, Jeff Goldblum, Harvey Keitel, Bill Murray, Edward Norton, Jason Schwartzman, Owen Wilson, and Bob Balaban, among others who will no doubt catch your eye. If that cast doesn't do something for you, maybe movies aren't your thing.

As I've learned with other Anderson movies, these simply aren't for everyone. The humor is either something you go along with or just don't. 'Budapest' covers a ton of ground in its 100-minute running time, scenes transitioning with a stylish title card, Alexandre Desplat's effortless score pushing the story along, sight gags galore dotting the road. If you like it, I think you'll love it. Just a goofy kind of perfect, vastly different and a step above just about everything else hitting theaters. Highly recommended.

The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014): *** 1/2 /****

John Carter

Based off a novel, A Princess of Mars, by author Edgar Rice Burroughs, 2012's John Carter made headlines for all the wrong sort of reasons. Budgeted for around $250 million, it tanked in America, making around $75. It succeeded overseas and other markets, helping regain some of its losses (barely). So what happened? I don't know for sure. I loved the first hour, and yeah, there's also a second hour....unfortunately.

A Civil War veteran from Virginia, John Carter (Taylor Kitsch) is searching the Arizona desert for a cave that legend states is packed with gold. Pursued by Apaches and the U.S. Cavalry, Carter finds the cave only to be transported to a different planet. He knows it as Mars, but there he finds a race/species of 12-foot tall barbarians called Tharks. Carter discovers he has the ability to physically leap hundreds of feet into the air at will, impressing the Tharks with his prowess. Trying to discover how, why and where he is though, Carter finds himself involved and fighting in another war as warring factions fight for control of this supposedly dead, far-off planet.

I didn't go into this Andrew Stanton-directed science fiction-fantasy-western-epic with high expectations, but I was certainly curious to see what the fuss (or lack of) was all about. The genre-bending premise sounded intriguing. Early on, I loved it. 'Carter' was like a blend of Star Wars, Avatar and Dances With Wolves. How's that for a deadly trio of films? The exploration of a "new" planet was great, seeing the disbelief in John's eyes as we do the same. It's somewhat like Earth, but not quite. We meet a new race/species -- the Tharks -- and see their culture and way of life. We see warring factions -- the people of Helium vs. the fighters of Zodanga -- and John must come around with how he fits into it all. Is he willing to fight again, to fight for something that doesn't impact him?

That's the first hour. I loved it. Those scenes especially reminded me of the things I liked most about James Cameron's Avatar. And then there's the rest of the movie. A visual spectacle, a treat for the eyes, a genre-bending story, and you know what? I didn't care. I was bored. I had no interest in this war for control of Mars. None. The last 70 minutes therefore tended to drag for me. I don't know how/why it all changed so quickly, but it did. While I liked Kitsch's John Carter, I didn't have a whole lot of interest in his plight, much less that of the Helium survivors vs. the Zodanga city-state. A battle for sole power of a planet? It should have been cooler, but I would have just settled for even a little interesting.

Just 31 years old, Kitsch is trying to carve out a niche for himself as an actor and movie star. This is a good part in that direction. A tad wooden at times, I liked his performance although I could have done with more in the way of flashbacks. Lynn Collins plays the love interest, Dejah, the princess of the King of Helium (Ciaran Hinds). Collins is quite the heroine -- no damsel in distress -- and looks good doing it, but she doesn't have much chemistry with Kitsch. As for the Tharks, look for Willem Dafoe, Thomas Haden Church, and Samantha Morton lending their voice talents. Mark Strong plays Matai Shang, a space-manipulating being who leads destruction of planets one-by-one. Also look for Dominic West, James Purefoy and Bryan Cranston in supporting parts. West has some fun hamming it up as the villainous Sab Than, the puppet for Matai's intentions.

A swing and a miss here for the most part. A framing device with John's nephew, the future author Edgar Rice Burroughs (Daryl Sabara), is a great introduction and gets things moving well enough. The movie is gorgeous, New Mexico and Utah combining with some impressive CGI to stand in for Mars. Michael Giacchino's score is appropriately epic, and in general, the movie has the feel of an epic from the 1950s/1960s albeit with some great CGI. On the whole, the movie never connects on any sort of emotional level. The first hour though is highly enjoyable, making it worth at least a mild -- very mild -- recommendation.

John Carter <---trailer (2012): ** 1/2 /****

The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day

In a perfect example of how strong DVD sales can give a movie a second chance, 1999's The Boondock Saints made less than $20,000 in a very short theater run only to become a cult hit on DVD.  But success came at a price with a 2003 documentary that showed director Troy Duffy's meteoric rise to success and fall from grace.  Duffy fell completely out of the limelight and didn't make another movie for 10 years until the studios finally asked him to make a sequel for the Saints, 2009's The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day.

The original is actually a mess of a movie that works because of all its goofy action, cheesy one-liners, and characters that were surprisingly sympathetic.  It was a formula that worked so Duffy repeats it with his sequel.  Not 'repeats' like he continues where the 1st movie left off, but 'repeats' like scene-for-scene with the same humor and action.  With 10 years to work on a sequel and script, this is the best he could come up with?  As a huge fan of the original, this sequel comes across as boring, been there and done that, and generally pretty lazy.  The two vigilante brothers cleaning up society's trash worked smoothly the first time around, but not for a second go-around.

It's been eight years since brothers Connor (Sean Patrick Flanery) and Murphy (Norman Reedus) killed a Boston mafioso in a courtroom full of witnesses with their father, Il Duce (Billy Connolly).  Dubbed 'the Saints,' the trio escaped to Ireland where they tend a small sheep farm, but news reaches them that a priest in Boston was killed in a manner suspiciously similar to how they dispatched their victims.  So either some one is trying to frame them, or two, lure them back to Boston.  No matter the reason, the Saints return to the states with Romeo (Clifton Collins Jr.), basically a Mexican gangster, joining them.  They set their sites on Concezio Yakavetta (Judd Nelson), the son of the mafioso they killed years before.  But not so fast, the Feds get called in with Special Agent Eunice Bloom (Julie Benz) leading the investigation.

I don't even know where to start with this one.  With a few very small exceptions, nothing really works here.  Two of the original's best characters aren't back -- one died in the first movie, the other makes a very small, very pointless cameo -- but instead of bringing in some new, interesting characters, Duffy creates new versions that are almost identical.  Collins Jr. is funny enough although he's trying too hard as Rocco 2, I mean Romeo.  He acts crazy and bugs out his eyes after every line.  As for Benz, she's the student of Agent Paul Smecker (Wilem Dafoe, he makes the cameo) and basically channels his ability.  Easy on the eyes, but not on the ears, Benz has an accent like nails on the chalkboard and comes across as more annoying than cutesy.

That's not to say they're the ones to blame.  With the brothers, whole scenes are duplicated from the original to show off their dynamic.  The most obnoxious one has them getting into a fistfight right before a hit attempt that of course, goes perfectly even if it wasn't drawn up that way.  Their lines are nothing more than a series of one-liners that don't do much at all, my favorite being Reedus' "Let's do some gratuitous violence."  It doesn't make sense, and haha, we get it, you're addressing us as fans.  And completely unrelated to story or character, as Connor, Flanery doesn't look quite right -- something's going on with his eyes and face.  Connolly is a bright spot as he was in the original, and we do see some great background with him as to how he became the notorious killer Il Duce.

Connolly's subplot is the worthy part of the story, including his relationship with his former partner who eventually turned him in.  SPOILERS STOP READING IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE TWIST SPOILERS  The partner, now all grown up, is setting up the brothers to get a crack at Connor and Murphy.  In what should have been a cool part, Peter Fonda plays the Roman, an aging gangster trying to right wrongs he's done.  Connolly and Fonda have a great scene together near the finale, but it's undone by a really stupid action scene to close out the movie.  And the capper, Il Duce gets knocked off.  Not cool at all, but it does go along with my "the coolest character always gets whacked" theory.  END OF SPOILERS

The action especially is pretty disappointing, looking more like PG-13 shootouts than the R-rating it was given.  Instead of improving on the top-notch, highly stylized action of the original, Duffy does the same exact thing in terms of storytelling.  Set-up is introduced, fade to black, aftermath, FBI agents analyze scene, and Benz's Bloom explains what happens inserted into the scene.  It was cool the first time, especially with Dafoe's famous "THERE WAS A FIREFIGHT!" line, but it's dull here.  As a comparison, watch Benz inexplicably dressed up as a cowgirl in a similar scene. (SPOILERS watch it HERE).  The finale too disappoints mostly because by then the story is a complete mess and makes no sense.  If that's important to you.

For every good moment here in the sequel, they're undone by many more moments that fall flat on their faces.  Awkward unnecessary nudity, some horrific choices in soundtrack playing over the countless montages, and not more than an ounce or two of originality.  The Boondock Saints was a surprise hit, and it seems Duffy tried to do exactly the same thing with his second feature film.

Of course, the final scene is actually pretty cool, and leaves the door open for a third movie.  As much as I loved the first one, I can't help but hope that they decide to let a sleeping dog lie.  Who knows what went wrong?  The tone's too jokey where the original was mostly serious, and the humor falls flat.  There's also countless flashbacks as if to point out, 'hey, remember how good the original was?'  It needlessly calls attention to what could have been. This sequel was awful.

The Boondock Saints II: All Saint's Day <----trailer (2009): */****

The Boondock Saints

Released completely under the radar in 1999, The Boondock Saints has gotten the last laugh in recent years. The low-budget movie has become a cult hit on DVD in the decade since with its blend of action and comedy and what has to be a record-setting use of the word 'f*ck' in a movie.

Connor (Sean Patrick Flanery) and Murphy (Norman Reedus) McManus are two Irish brothers living in Boston, making a living as meat packers and living in illegal loft housing. Here's their supremely cool intro. One night at the local bar, three Russian thugs come in saying the place must be closed down. Cue to the next morning when an FBI investigator, Paul Smecker (Willem Dafoe), arrives a crime scene where two of the thugs have been killed. So starts a movie that is a ton of fun to watch.

The two brothers become vigilantes, killing all of the evil in society. Their friend Rocco says it best, "We could kill everybody!" Rocco was a messenger boy for the local Italian mob family and joins the McManus brothers in their efforts as they wipe out all the scum in the city. The only problem? Their actions have drawn attention, and the mob turns to a hired killer the likes of which has never been seen, Il Duce. Here's my personal favorite, their first meeting.

Much of the movie makes fun of the action genre while having really cool gunbattles throughout. In one argument as Connor and Murphy stock up on firearms, Connor points out they need some rope because 'Charlie Bronson always had rope.' Murphy's response is perfect, 'This isn't a movie.' That sums up the whole tone of the movie in one exchange of dialogue. Director Troy Duffy makes a movie that's very aware of what it is doing. The action? Completely over the top. The dialogue? Cheesey and cliched at points, but it works just as the movie on a whole does.

As brothers Connor and Murphy, Flanery and Reedus hit all the right notes. The conversations between them feel like brothers, not just two actors thrown together and told to memorize their lines. But as good as the brothers are, this is Wilem Dafoe's movie. Dafoe plays Smecker, an FBI investigator who can figure out and read crime scenes when no one else can piece it together. Always know for his quirky roles, this might be the quirkiest with some nice touches added to his character. He's gay but calls other gay men 'f*gs' and fairies. Examining crime scenes, he listens to opera. Smecker is the most three-dimensional of the characters, a man torn between what his job requires him to do and what his head tells him to do. David Della Rocca plays Roc, the brothers' Italian friend. Rocca plays the character completely off the wall which wears thin at times, but it works because I found myself liking the character. Billy Connolly makes a brief but memorable appearance as hitman extraordinaire Il Duce.

The movie is a polarizing one for any number of reasons ranging from violence to language to the plotline of vigilante killers. I can understand why people dislike this movie or in some cases hate it, but I loved it. There's a style to it that many movies are missing, especially movies with budgets much larger than Duffy used here. Good news too, looks like a sequel is being released on DVD this year. The pessimist in me says a straight-to-DVD release = bad movie, but I'll take my chances.