Made for about $25 or so, this is a low-budget B-movie that never strives to be anything else. Actually, the budget was an estimated $450,000. Now what that money went toward, I just don't know. Your guess is as good as mine. It has it all in terms of badness. The premise is one that countless other bad sci-fi movies have used, but that's nothing. The script is laughable, the acting even worse, and the special effects....well, calling them special effects is an insult to other movies that try to actually use special effects. This probably won't be the most well-rounded review I've had. I'm seeing just a list of funny moments that cracked me up so enjoy.
Working to clear a harbor off a Caribbean island, construction crew workers Bart (Ward Ramsey) and Chuck (Paul Lukather) unearth two fossilized, perfectly preserved dinosaurs in the water, one a T-Rex, the other a brontosaurus. What they don't see is that the island head honcho and all-around A-hole, Hacker (Fred Engelberg), also deserves a frozen caveman and brings him ashore. The creatures are left under guard -- by the island wino at that -- overnight and the island life goes back to normal...briefly. Supposedly dead, the creatures wake up and begin to tramp all over the island. With no way off the island and no communication available to call for help, Bart and Chuck must figure some way to save the island's inhabitants before these two dinosaurs wreak havoc.
First sign this was going to be interesting to watch? Reading the synopsis and cast listing at TCM's website, I didn't recognize a single name. Not one. The acting is atrocious. Ramsey's Bart is the stoic hero, always at the forefront of some awful attempts to save the island. Lukather's Chuck is the sidekick because all heroes need a sidekick, right? Engelberg is hilarious as the villainous Hacker, sneering and growling throughout. There's also the requisite love interest, Betty (Kristina Hanson), dressed like she's going to a ball, 12-year old actor Alan Roberts as Julio, one of the worst child actors I've ever seen, Dumpy (Wayne C. Treadway), the bumbling, chubby doofus around for comic relief, Luci Blaine as the sexy minority, Chica, Mousey (Howard Dayton) and Jasper (Jack Younger), the dimwitted henchmen, and of course, Gregg Martell as the Neanderthal. More on that to come.
Acting in a bad B-movie? Let's get to the fun stuff! If anyone ever thought Ray Harryhausen's stop-motion dinosaurs/creatures were cheesy, this would be the movie to show them that Harryhausen was a master of his craft. The dinosaurs go two ways here. One, miniatures shot in extreme close-up with their mouths moving occasionally and roaring dubbed in later. Two, when required to move across the screen they look like they're walking on a fast-moving treadmill. Even better? Little Julio and his Neanderthal friend end up riding the brontosaurus. How would you go about managing that? Put little action figures on the dinosaur model and go to town. The best is saved for last though when Bart goes mano-a-mano against the T-Rex....wait for it....in a steamshovel crane. The bored looking background players make it extra special. Maybe the greatest fight in the history of movies. I'm just saying.
The bad dinosaur models on their own wouldn't be enough to cripple a movie. More needs to happen. Most of this movie was shot on a studio set with a few quick field trips to the outdoors (very quick trips) before retreating indoors. The rest the movie is a mix of green screen shots, second unit shooting, and the cast running around a set that would have made Gilligan's Island look realistic. The green screen shots are the best. The cast stands far too close to the camera, and off behind them in blurry footage are fleeing villagers. Cut to a long shot of random extras walking around to safety, and then back to those scary dinosaurs. You take for granted sometimes the professionalism involved in making a genuinely good movie. This flick will certainly remind you.
Now all that said, a truly bad movie has that something else, that something you just can't fake. It's genuine badness, moments that have you roaring in laughter at a delivered line or an amateurish effect. As I'm watching the movie, I'm trying to keep a tally in my head of all Dinosaurus!'s great moments, but I quickly lost track. Here's a few goodies. Julio -- apparently a dinosaur expert because he reads cereal boxes -- quickly takes on the brontosaurus as his friend and gets quite defensive about it. When the T-Rex attacks his new friend, he throws rocks at him. Bart and Dumpy arrive on the scene as they fight, Bart observing with a chuckle 'Front row seats, huh?!?' Oh Lord, I laughed.
What else, what else? Julio also befriends the Neanderthal, teaching him how to make a snack. The little kid's dialogue is so stiff, so unnatural that the scene is even worse than it sounds. Later, Betty tries to knock the Neanderthal out because obviously he's oggling her and up to no good. Then in the finale, the Neanderthal -- probably the most sympathetic character in the whole movie -- ends up getting killed saving the rest of these idiots from a cave-in. A destroyed Julio asks why he had to die. Bart (summoning his best Mr. Brady impression) explains that the caveman's time was gone in a world he wasn't familiar with. Julio -- seconds before on the brink of suicide -- says that world sounds awesome! Yeah, death! Then there's the ending when 'The End' pops up, followed by a question mark. Oh, no, is it the end?!? Are there more dinosaurs out there?
Good news for those interested in seeing this amazingly bad movie. It's available to watch on Youtube in its entirety, starting HERE with Part 1 of 9. You most likely will be disappointed, but that is all the fun. With all the good movies out there, you've got to watch some bad ones now and again. And don't be confused, this is one of the worst.
Dinosaurus!<---trailer (1960): ***/****
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