Arabesque

Released late last summer, The Tourist looked like plenty of movies released before it, pairing A-list stars Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie in a story of international intrigue that had the duo globe-trotting across Europe with some mysterious baddies on their tail.  It sounded pleasant enough, even when Golden Globes host Ricky Gervais roasted the movie for its "well-deserved nominations." The formula is a tried and true one though, pair two huge stars together and basically let them just have fun together, allowing audiences to wonder what it'd be like to be a huge movie star.

Director Stanley Donen is guilty of going back to the well a couple times for this gem, first with 1963's Charade and then basically remaking that movie three years later with 1966's Arabesque. Starring Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn, Charade is a genuinely good movie, switching back and forth between genre conventions, keeping you on your toes and guessing as to what's going to happen next. Using a similar story with the male/female roles reversed, Arabesque struggles to be even half as good a movie. Still, it's completely mindless and entertaining enough. But where Charade had a touch of seriousness to the proceedings, this quasi-sequel/remake is pure camp. Just know what you're about to watch.

Working at a university in England, American professor David Pollock (Gregory Peck) is approached to decipher a Hittite inscription by Arab businessman and all-around rich guy, Beshraavi (Alan Badel). He declines until he's approached by a Prime Minister from another Arab country (no names included), Hassan Jena (Carl Duering) to investigate the inscription.  Pollock is immediately thrust into a life and death situation where both sides want the much-needed information hidden in the Hittite message. Working closely with mysterious beauty, Yasmine (Sophia Loren), David isn't even sure who he can trust, especially when everything seems to point to an assassination attempt. Can he figure out when, who and where though before he gets knocked off?

Oh, no worries about Gregory Peck getting knocked off. He makes it, as does Sophia Loren. There is no threat at any moment in this movie where Peck's Pollock or Loren's Yasmine is even remotely in danger. So even as they're chased across London by people trying to drown, shoot, drug, smash, and in general, murder them, the movie loses some sort of edge because you know nothing is going to happen. That's maybe my biggest problem here. I was looking for something more along the lines of Charade, and it's just different enough to be disappointing.

Mindless is one thing, I love movies that make no demands on me as a somewhat coherent individual.  But this one pushed me too far. The plot relies almost exclusively on a MacGuffin, a generic item that doesn't necessarily mean anything until it's necessary for it to mean something. Long story short? It's something everyone wants and will do horrible things to get it. The script here is 75 minutes of twists and turns -- not all of which make complete sense -- as Peck and Loren run around in a panicked state trying to piece things together. Then once Donen's had enough, he reveals what the inscription really is.  It's not what you think by the way. The story is hard to follow and even ridiculous at times, taking away from that whole mindless aspect I so typically enjoy.

If this movie has a saving grace (I'm still not sure), it's that Peck and Loren are the ultimate professionals and commit to making the most of their characters and the story itself. Peck gets to ham it up some which is great as he throws away his titled, often wooden acting style (I'm a huge Gregory Peck fan, I can get away with criticizing him). He's funny and has some great throwaway lines which made me laugh.  Then there's the beautiful Sophia Loren, always very watchable and an underrated actress to boot. Lost in the shuffle of her constantly being half-naked or wearing next to nothing is that she is a great comedic actress, hamming it up right alongside Peck. Their chemistry together -- and what exactly Loren's character is up to -- makes the movie watchable above all else.

Other than that, nothing much worth mentioning here. Badel is a reliable smarmy villain who will get his due in the end, and Kieron Moore pops in here and there to play a rabid revolutionary playing all sides with John Merivale playing a constantly duped henchman who can't do anything right. The whole movie is ridiculous enough, all of it leading to an ending that in its stupidity is pretty entertaining. That's the movie. Stupid and entertaining with Peck and Loren clearly having a lot of fun. Instantly forgettable, but is that necessarily a bad thing?

Arabesque <---trailer (1966): ** 1/2 /****