Assault on a Queen

I don't know if there's an actor/performer who was so effortlessly cool as Frank Sinatra. On-stage as a performer, his cool factor is unquestionable.  As an actor, he started off in the 1950s with more serious roles that allowed him to show what a talented actor he was, and then in the 1960s starting making more fan friendly movies like his Rat Pack flicks.  It was this part of his career that reminds me of John Wayne's later career. Both men did movies that appealed to them, and screw anyone who didn't enjoy them.  Going in, you can probably figure out the ending before the movie starts.

That's exactly what 1966's Assault on a Queen felt like to me. A heist movie with a handful of other elements thrown in, this felt like a rehash of other better movies while still maintaining some level of interest and entertainment.  Sinatra would only make a handful of more movies after 1966, and this clearly isn't his best acting performance.  Some reviews complain that he's sleepwalking through the part, and it's hard to prove otherwise.  Laid back and playing a variation on many characters he played in his career, Sinatra is as always still very watchable.  The movie is average in every way with a ludicrous heist involved, but that's part of the fun.  Just how stupidly entertaining can it get?

Operating a small fishing boat with his partner and drinking buddy, Linc (Errol John), former submarine officer Mark Brittain (Sinatra) is content to take tourists out fishing so he has enough money for food and booze (not necessarily in that order). Hard up for money though, Mark signs on with a mysterious couple, Vic Rossiter (Tony Franciosa) and Rosa Lucchesi (Italian beauty Virna Lisi), who are looking for sunken treasure in the Caribbean. During a dive, Mark doesn't find buried treasure, instead stumbling across a sunken WWII German sub.  One of Vic's partners, a former U-boat commander, Eric (Alf Kjellin), comes up with a crazy idea.  What if they were able to raise the sunken ship which seems to be in good condition, and use it as a pirating vessel? Vic has the perfect target, the Queen Mary and its on-board safe that almost certainly has millions of dollars and gold bars.  It seems ridiculous, but could it somehow work?

I fancy myself a fan of heist movies, and like to think I know a few things here and there about them, but the premise here is beyond ridiculous.  A WWII German sub that's been sitting on the bottom of the ocean for 20 years is not only going to be raised to the surface, but then outfitted and rehabbed so it can be taken on the open sea and pull a con job on a huge ocean liner packed with tourists?  I couldn't help but get a chuckle out of the premise.  That's what you're going with?  Working off a Rod Serling screenplay, director Jack Donahue certainly has some guts. I'll give credit when it's due though. Donahue, Serling, and the cast commit to this ridiculous story and take it seriously.  It's never campy, never a spoof of heist movies.  If it had gone that direction, the movie would have gone downhill quickly.

The movie is limited by an obvious lack of any sort of budget.  Any of the diving scenes are clearly not Sinatra with some awful uses of a stunt double with a fuller head of hair stepping in for him.  Any scenes on the sub that contain a close-up of any of the principals is a green screen shot filmed on a set/stage somewhere, and then cut to look like they're sailing the high seas.  The whole movie has that look of being an indoors movie, like the cast and crew never saw the light of day during filming.  Any outdoor shots are second unit shots with no recognizable faces involved.  Low budget doesn't necessarily mean bad, but the effort here is severely hampered by lack of funds.

Here we are again, a motley crew of thieves and specialists working together to pull off the impossible job.  Yes, it's a men (and a woman) on a mission movie. Sinatra is Sinatra in the lead, a part that gives little background information other than his sole interest in the mission seems tied to winning Lisi's hand.  Italian beauty Virna Lisi is quite the looker and is given any number of excuses to be in slinky, tight-fitting outfits.  I've never heard a mangling of English quite as nice sounding as Lisi's attempt.  Franciosa is a bright spot, trying his best to make the most of the material.  I can't think of Franciosa as anything but a smooth, suave baddie, and he's solid here in that part.  Kjellin is the wild card, we're not always sure of his intentions, with Richard Conte playing Tony, his weaselly mechanic. John gets a couple chances to shine in a solid supporting part.

So while the heist premise is ridiculous, you can't help but wonder how they'll actually attempt to pull this job off.  The heist execution makes up for a slow-moving first hour-plus because we have a general sense of how this plan will work, but nothing in detail.  Not surprisingly, it doesn't go as planned, forcing Mark, Vic, Eric and the team to improvise.  As a movie overall, it lacks a certain energy -- thanks to a dull but still underused musical score -- and any feeling of urgency of getting somewhere interesting.  Worthwhile mostly because of the cast, for die hard heist fans only.

Assault on a Queen <--- opening titles (1966): **/****