Herbie: Fully Loaded

What's your dream car from film and television? I've got a bunch. The 1960s Batmobile, Steve McQueen's Mustang from 1968's Bullitt, and a bunch more I'm forgetting in the moment. There's one though that rises above the rest. I'd love to own Herbie the Love Bug, the Volkswagen Bug who has starred in five theatrical flicks and one TV movie. I grew up watching Herbie movies and recently caught up with the only entry I'd never seen before, 2005's Herbie: Fully Loaded.

With a college degree under her arm and a job as an assistant producer at ESPN waiting for her in a few weeks, Maggie Peyton (Lindsay Lohan) gets a graduation present from her Dad, Ray (Michael Keaton). The Peytons are a third generation racing family with Ray working as team owner and crew chief, his son the team's lead driver. Maggie has always wanted to get into racing but a past street racing incident ended that dream. Now, she'll have to settle for this present from her Dad, a beat-up looking 1963 Volkswagen Bug named Herbie that certainly looks well past its prime. This is not any old VW Bug though, something Maggie figures out immediately. Herbie has a mind of his own and Maggie and her mechanic friend, Kevin (Justin Long), think they can rehab the car and build it back up into a worthy racing car. They could be in for some trouble when cocky Nascar champ Trip Murphy (Matt Dillon) gets on their bad side and he wants nothing more than to take Herbie apart.

I love Herbie. I loved the original The Love Bug growing up, and I still love it now. I really like the second sequel Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo, and.....yes, I can sit through the generally pretty bad Herbie Rides Again and Herbie Goes Bananas. I never intentionally avoided this 2005 quasi-reboot, but I never actively sought it out. From director Angela Robinson, 'Loaded' isn't great and it isn't awful.  The story is a bit of a rework of The Love Bug (how Herbie gets into racing) and Monte Carlo (Herbie in love) with an occasional tweak here and there. It made a ton of money -- $140-plus million -- in theaters and is innocent enough fun. If it isn't necessarily good, it does the Herbie character and franchise right.

Remember back in 2005 when Lindsay Lohan was a sure-fire star? She seemed destined to be a legit huge star following 2004's massively successful Mean Girls before some personal problems ranging from addiction to plastic surgery and assorted other things did their best to derail her career. You can't call her a great actress, but she is a good actress, natural and likable here. The rumor mill says that Disney Studios digitally reduced Lohan's breasts on-screen so that's pretty crazy if you think about it. Now all that said...the story does seem to be an excuse to doll Lohan up and put her in all sorts of tight, low-cut and mini-skirt options. Not a complaint, just an observation.

There is a decent cast on hand here so that definitely helps. Along with Michael Keaton as Maggie's Dad, there's Breckin Meyers as her race car driving brother and Cheryl Hines as one of the few remaining sponsors for the Peyton racing team. Justin Long gets romance duty, the shaggy haired mechanic working with Maggie who maybe...just maybe may end up with her. Tough part, huh? Backing up the geared-up Dillon as our evil villain, Trip, there's Jimmi Simpson as his goofy assistant, Crash, and Thomas Lennon (who also helped write the story and screenplay) as his manager/brother. Also look for Scoot McNairy briefly as a member of the pit crew. Some familiar parts from an after school special, but there's some talent on display.

Enough with all that garbage though. What about Herbie? Through the wonders of computer-generated images, Herbie is a little more anthropomorphic as we meet him. The former racing champion, Herbie the VW Bug has fallen on hard times and is rescued from the junk heap by Maggie. Can he reacquire his magic? The iconic visual is there, the white Bug with the red and blue stripe up his middle with the soft-cover top and the instantly recognizable '53' painted on his hood and side. His headlights are his eyes, his front hood his mouth, that sort of thing. We do get some crazy CGI moments that are a tad bit on the goofy side, but that's part of the Disney charm (albeit with better graphics). There is a fun scene late where Herbie gets "analyzed" by Nascar champions and fan favorites Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson so stick with it through that. Also look for Tony Stewart, and Dale Jarrett.

Now I do have one kinda major complaint? If you ask me at least. The opening credits show a montage of Herbie racing clips from the previous movies. Yes, he's fallen on hard times and basically abandoned as a parts car. As he makes his triumphant return, NO ONE remembers him. NO ONE. How forgetful can people be? Yes, I know I'm overanalyzing a movie that's intended to be entertaining and fun with some cool racing scenes. But come on now, how can no one recognize this car?!? It's a VW Bug who can hold his own with Nascar cars and souped-up street racers. WHY DOES NO ONE QUESTION THIS? WHY DOES NO ONE REMEMBER THIS LITTLE CAR? Okay, breathe...breathe, I got that out of my system. Herbie fans should like it. I certainly did in a dumbed down revisit sort of way.

Herbie: Fully Loaded (2005): ** 1/2 /****

The Art of the Steal

Here's a trend that's been developing over the last 10-15 years in Hollywood, one I see popping up more and more in recent years. Well, basically since The Sixth Sense first appeared in 1999. Movies aren't just interested in pulling a fast one on you with a great twist. They're obsessed with doing it. That's all fine and good until it becomes so ridiculously forced that said twist almost ruins the process of getting there. Case in point, 2013's The Art of the Steal, one I'm still mulling over.

Working with a small crew that includes his brother, Nicky (Matt Dillon), longtime thief and getaway driver Crunch Calhoun (Kurt Russell) has pulled off another job at a Polish art museum, getting away with an authentic Gauguin. Well....almost. Nicky gets picked up by the police and facing a stiff sentence if he's found guilty, turns Crunch in. Crunch serves five-plus years in prison, getting out and becoming a stunt motorcycle driver, that is until he's forced to team up with Nicky and the old crew again for one very lucrative job. One of the first books by Johannes Gutenberg has been stolen in Europe and is now just sitting at a border station in Canada, just waiting to be transported into the United States. Can Crunch, Nicky and the crew pull off the job? They've only got a couple days, an art expert coming to verify the book in just a few days. The job is one thing, but can Crunch trust Nicky?

Have you heard of this movie? Yeah, me neither. I don't believe it got any theatrical release in the U.S., but I found it on Netflix and here we sit. I love a good heist movie, and the cast seemed pretty promising for a movie that got little to no release, director Jonathan Sobol also writing the screenplay. It's nothing hugely special or out of this world, but I was entertained throughout. The style borrows here and there from other better, far better known heist flicks, especially the Ocean's movies. We get on-screen graphics telling us where we are -- Quebec City, Detroit (Yeah, not as glamorous) -- and narration laying the groundwork for everything, including giving the crew cute nicknames like the Idea Man, the Forger and others. You get the idea. If you like heist movies, you'll get some enjoyment out of it. How much? That's up to you.

The basic premise is pretty straightforward, playing on the all-too-familiar "one last big job." Russell's Crunch quickly knocks that myth out, stating there's no such thing....well, sorta. Give some background, introduce the personalities and some conflict, lay out the impossible objective to rob and let the hijinks begin. Nothing too crazy there. 'Art' does a good job in that department, following the formula and usually letting the tone stay pretty light. There's some genuinely good laughs sprinkled throughout the fast-moving 90-minute feature. That comes from, not surprisingly, the cast.

You know what? Kurt Russell is really cool. It's one of those things I knew, I was aware of, but it's nice to get a reminder sometimes. His last major studio release was 2007's Death Proof (he's currently filming Fast and Furious 7) so even in a smaller-scale story like this, it's cool to see him do his cool, smooth anti-hero type. Dillon is Dillon, the treacherous me-first brother who just know is up to no good. He pickpockets a young Asian girl for goodness sake!!! As for the rest of the crew, also look for Jay Baruchel as Francie, Crunch's young protege who hasn't been involved in a heist before, Kenneth Welsh as Paddy McCarthy, the smooth Irishman who knows everybody and everything, Chris Diamantopoulos as Guy, the smooth French forger, and Katheryn Winnick as Lola, Crunch's younger girlfriend. Some fun characters, some recognizable names, all of them looking like they're having fun with the stylish caper.

Also worth mentioning is Terence Stamp as Samuel Winter, an infamous thief in his own right, now working with Interpol to earn an early release on his very, very long prison sentence. Stamp shows off his subtle comedic chops as he works with Jason Jones' Interpol Agent Bick. He has little use for the driven Bick, his underplayed digs and insults providing some of the biggest laughs in 'Art' as well as his scene with Russell's Crunch.

And yes, then there's that twist. No, that's not spot-on. TwistSSSSSSSS. Movies aren't content anymore with just one twist or even two. They've got to blow you out of the water with one out of left field twist after another until it becomes indecipherable. Who's that? What's happening? What's going on? It's a heist movie. You know, just know, there is a twist coming, but here the entire last 30 minutes is one new revelation on top of another to the point it just becomes overkill. It doesn't ruin the movie, but the non-stop revelations and twists to get to be a little much. A better movie than I was expecting overall but enough is enough at a certain point. Worth recommending though for sure. A solid, enjoyable heist/caper flick.

The Art of the Steal (2013): ** 1/2 /****

Takers

For better or worse, the fact that moviegoers get older only to be followed by a younger generation allows studios to make the same movie over and over again.  But because the audience is new to the movie, it seems just that…new.  My 17-year old cousin thought 2010’s The Town was the greatest movie ever made (I really liked it to be fair), but when I brought up all the movies it borrowed from or paid homage to, she looked at me like I was nuts. The same idea kept running through my head as I watched 2010’s Takers.

Over a two or three month span in spring and summer 2010, a seemingly long list of heist/men on a mission movies hit theaters ranging from really good like The Losers to average but entertaining blockbuster, The A-Team. Takers was the last of the three to hit theaters, and thanks to the saturated market and some poor reviews, it didn’t do well. No secret here, but I’m a sucker for any of these movies. A-N-Y of them. So a hip-hop, more modern take on The Italian Job and every other heist movie ever? Color me intrigued.

After pulling off a successful heist that nets over $2 million dollars, master thief Gordon (Idris Elba) and his team – Jake (Michael Ealy), A.J. (Hayden Christensen), John (Paul Walker), and Jesse (hip-hop artist Chris Brown) – split up the take and prepare to go into hiding as they always do after a job in hopes of letting things cool off. A former associate and member of the crew just paroled after serving a 5-year sentence, Ghost (rapper Tip ‘T.I.’ Harris) approaches the group with an armored vehicle job that could earn them as much as $30 million. Gordon and Co. are suspicious, but the specifics of the plan seem too legit, too good to pass up, and they prepare for a quick turnaround for a second job. But as their plan comes together, two LAPD detectives (Matt Dillon and Jay Hernandez) are closing in on this elusive crew.

This is The Italian Job, Heat, The Town, Le Cercle Rouge, and any number of other heist movies rolled together into one finished product.  That’s not an exaggeration. One scene actually has a character asking “You want to do a real-life Italian Job?” When writing a script/screenplay, I’m guessing it’s that much easier when you don’t actually have to come up with an original idea. Take successful story, add in some semi-new twists, and ta-da! You’ve got every heist movie you’ve ever seen before in a slightly new packaging.

Familiar and/or comfortable is not always a good thing. Director John Luessenhop takes all those elements and never chooses which ones he wants to use and which ones he wants to leave behind. It’s not so much a script with a developing story as a series of clichés and stereotypes. Cop with a checkered past? Yes. Scorned former member of the group? You bet. Girlfriend (a wasted appearance from Zoe Saldana) who moved on to someone else in the group? Present. The acting ranges from quality – Elba, Christensen, Walker and Ealy – to just plain bad – musicians Chris Brown and TI should stick with music. The soundtrack is dull, the editing ultra-fast and ultra-hyper, and the twists of betrayals and double-crosses are easily spotted almost from the start. If you’ve seen any heist movie ever before, you’ll feel like you’ve seen this movie before, and just a head’s up…you have seen this movie.

A saving grace from the hackneyed script that’s pilfered from other similar movies is the cast. The specialists, the thieves, the master crooks, it’s hard to mess that up. Elba is the leader, Walker his tough right hand man who seems to be former military, Christensen and Ealy are the planners, and Brown is Ealy’s younger brother and newest member of the crew. The high points of the movie are Gordon’s crew interacting away from the job, later planning their heists, and figuring out their next move. On their own, none of these are great characters, but together they make the movie that much more enjoyable. The movie and story would have been significantly better overall if more time was spent with the crew, developing these already interesting characters. Brown is the only one who is out of place, and from the director’s chair, Luessenhop seems to know it, limiting his role in terms of actual lines. His Jesse character apparently picks up parkour on a whim in a cool if ridiculous/unnecessary chase scene near the end. Still, the other four are good and make up for Brown’s lack of acting ability.

Having seen this movie in a few other forms, I was rarely bored but knowing where the story is going certainly takes away some of the enjoyment.  Helping save the movie – along with the casting – is the last half hour following the heist.  If heist movies have taught us anything it’s that the heist is the easy part. It’s the fallout afterward where the stuff hits the fan.  SPOILERS STOP READING SPOILERS I was surprised how brutal the fallout is here.  Three of the five are killed, and it’s hinted that a fourth will die after being wounded. Actually, with the exception of one main character, all of the cast gets killed. That’s the new twist here, not because it hasn’t been done before, but because for a tween audience in 2010, it’s hard to imagine these characters being killed off.  More than that, it’s hard to believe a studio approved it. For the guts to go through with it alone, the movie goes up a notch in my book.END OF SPOILERS

An opening heist at a high-tech bank guarded by heavy security shows how skilled this crew is and sets the stage for the rest of the movie. The action is fairly commonplace, and like so many modern action movies, is almost indecipherable because it’s so choppy.  The big heist of the armored vehicle is exactly the same as The Italian Job remake and has hundreds of rounds being fired without anyone actually getting shot. The best segment is when Ghost springs his double-cross, unleashing a rival crew of pissed off Russians on Gordon’s crew. The following shootout at The Roosevelt Hotel is a doozy (in a good way), full of slow motion, shrapnel, gun shots and explosions all over, and cheesy music that still manages to work. That’s Takers. A cheesy rehash of better heist movies that’s still entertaining in a guilty pleasure. Just make sure you stick around through the end.

Takers ß-trailer (2010): ** ½ /****