Jingle All the Way

There are movies you watch as a kid and just eat it up. You love it for all its fun and goofiness, not needing to analyze it or think about it too much. That's a job years later for Older You. It's that dreaded movie phenomenon, revisiting a movie you loved as a kid and seeing it through adult eyes. This week's entry, 1996's Jingle All the Way.

It's just a few days until Christmas and Howard Langston (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is in trouble. Running his own business, his home and family life has suffered, his son, Jamie (Jake Lloyd), especially upset because his Dad missed his latest karate performance. How to make up for this slight? Why with toys of course! Jamie wants nothing more than a Turbo Man action figure, the hottest toy around for this Christmas season. Howard thinks nothing of it, telling his son that he'll have one Christmas morning except there's a problem. He was supposed to pick one up weeks ago, and now on Christmas Eve, Turbo Man is sold out....well, everywhere. What to do? Howard hits the streets with no time to spare, vowing to Jamie and himself that he'll get a Turbo Man no matter what it takes. Can he somehow, some way find one though? He's got his work cut out for him.

I must have been a weird kid or something. Yeah, I knew that, nothing new there. While I love Christmas -- still do -- I must have been the right age at different points growing up because I never begged my parents for Tickle Me Elmo, Power Rangers, Ferbies, assorted video game systems for Christmas presents. Every year though the news reports about that one toy that every kid WANTS, NEEDS and SHOULD have. These new reports are typically followed by video clips of parents beating each other, arguing and fighting, stomping over each other to get to that last toy on the shelf. That's clearly what this 1990s comedy is having some fun with, poking and jabbing at how ridiculous Christmas can be. It's become too commercialized, and it gets a little worse with each passing holiday season.

Enough of that, let's move on. All those things about greed and capitalism and the commercialization of the Christmas season are one thing, but this isn't that smart, that deep a movie. It cracks me up to read reviews that praise this X-Mas comedy as an ahead of its time satire that wants to deliver a message. Yeah, about that....just N-O. This is a fun, stupid and at times in pretty poor taste comedy. I still like/love it because of all that badness, because I still remember seeing it in theaters with my Dad and my sister growing up. Watching it through 28-year old eyes as opposed to 12-year old eyes, it didn't resonate as well, the bad qualities starting to reveal itself far more than I remembered. Is it still good? You bet, but it's most definitely a guilty pleasure. 'Jingle' benefits from some on-location shooting in Minneapolis and the Mall of America and a Christmas Eve story is still a good jumping off point. As well, a Christmas-themed soundtrack adds to the atmosphere.

Seriously though, I mean come on. Arnold Schwarzenegger!!! This is an amazing performance from one of Hollywood's greatest action heroes. And you know what Hollywood was screaming for? A screwball comedy about an overworked Dad (with a heavy, heavy accent) who's slowly losing his mind. I'll give him credit where it's due. Schwarzenegger freaking commits to this part. It's still really easy to have some fun with him and his overacting, but it would have been a truly bad movie if he half-assed it. There's too many quality moments here to mention from Arnie's Howard pretending to be a ninja with his son, fighting a bunch of con men Santas with an immense candy cane, chasing a young girl down because she has a bouncy ball that could be his key to winning a Turbo Man, basically one thing after another slowly chipping away at his mental state. Making it worse? He keeps running into, working with and working against a similarly pissed off mailman, Myron (Sinbad), similarly searching for a Turbo Man for his son.

The story focuses on Schwarzenegger's toy adventures, following him from stores and malls to black market warehouses, radio stations to back home and everywhere in between. It's a story that certainly covers a lot of ground in its 89-minute running time. Who else to look for in a smallish ensemble? Phil Hartman as Ted, the Langston's seemingly perfect neighbor and a single Dad, Rita Wilson as Howard's wife, Liz, Robert Conrad as a police officer who keeps running into Howard, Martin Mull as a radio DJ who gets the misfortune of meeting Howard and Myron, and even Jim Belushi as the leader of the group of Santa Clause con men with his black market elves.

Maybe what I took away from 'Jingle' this time around is why people think this is an ahead of its time satirical comedy. It's really surprisingly dark at times. It's hinted that Hartman's Ted is basically sleeping with all of the neighborhood wives, with Wilson's Liz hopefully next up on the list. At one point, Sinbad's Myron pretends a package he's carrying is a bomb....except it's actually a bomb. At one point, a little person (Verne Troyer I believe) gets punched across a warehouse like a rag doll. By the end when Howard is using a jet pack that actually works and fighting a now-deranged Myron, it becomes almost surreal. A different movie than the one I remember watching as a kid, but still a decent flick.

Jingle All the Way (1996): ** 1/2 /****

Thief

Before there was Heat, Collateral or most recently Public Enemies, even director Michael Mann had to start somewhere. Directing his first feature film, Mann was already showing a style that he's become famous for with 1981's Thief.

With some directors, it takes time for a personal style to develop, but with Mann and Thief, it wouldn't be hard to believe if someone had told me this movie was made in the late 90s when he had become a very bankable director. It has all the elements fans have become used to, and in some cases scenes that are almost completely duplicated with later efforts, but more on that later.

Working on his own as a safecracker, ex-convict Frank (James Caan) is at the top of his game and bringing in a pretty penny while doing it. With help from his partner, Barry (Jim Belushi), it seems there's not a safe or vault out there the two men can't take down. Frank has only one demand when it comes to jobs, only money or diamonds, nothing too exotic and he picks the jobs. But after one particularly successful job, Frank is approached by a fence named Leo (Robert Prosky) to work under contract exclusively for him.

Frank wavers at first, but decides to take the offer. His plan is simple; do a handful of lucrative jobs and walk away from his career as a thief with his new wife, Jessie (Tuesday Weld). Apparently, Frank's never seen a mafia movie to know that as long as you make money for organized crime, they're not going to let you go easily. So for the expert safecracker, the situation goes from bad to worse, and he must now find a way out. Story-wise, this is nothing that hasn't been dealt with before in movies, books, and TV shows. But with Mann at the helms, you barely even notice that this all sounds really familiar. He does everything so well, so smoothly, that I got so wrapped up in the movie I didn't even notice the familiar storyline.

Ranking up there with Robert Deniro's Neal McCauley and Tom Cruise's Vincent, Caan as Frank is a great anti-hero and the perfect hard-edged character to lead the movie. Caan is one of those few actors who is just cool standing there. He doesn't have to try or pretend to be somebody he's not. For God's sake the man played Sonny Corleone! As Frank, Caan gives one of his career's best performances. After serving 11 years in prison, he's making up for lost time whether it be with his career or his newlywed bride. The scene where the two really connect for the first time, check it out here, is one example of a similar scene Mann would use 14 years later in Heat. It's the perfect scene to really get to know a character, and Caan is dead-on in the scene and Weld matches him.

As Frank's wife, Weld delivers a strong performance as a woman with a similarly troubled past. At first, she doesn't know how to read Frank's advances, but comes to see him as he really is, honest, sometimes brutally so, straightforward and just looking to lead a happy life. Prosky provides a good villain who for much of the movie is just a business partner. Of course, any self-respecting moviegoer knows he's not as legit as he's made out and problems arise. Belushi in a smaller part makes the partnership between Frank and Barry completely believable with very little said between them. And surprisingly, Willie Nelson joins the cast as Okla, a convict and sort of mentor/father figure to Frank who's serving the last 10 months of his sentence. He's only in 2 scenes, but Nelson is strong in both, giving a depth to Frank's background we otherwise would have no idea about.

On to the movie's style which is evident from the opening credits and the first vault break-in, seen here. Much of the movie's tone has to be chalked up to the score from Tangerine Dream which is a moody, dark, intense, very 80s electronica score. At times it can be overbearing, maybe a little over the top, but it fits the movie so perfectly. Filmed in Chicago, Thief is shot in shadows and darkness, almost a modern film noir, with some really innovative camera shots. I'll always be in favor of on-location shooting, especially when it involves my hometown of Chicago, because it's hard to duplicate the feel of a city elsewhere, whether it be a studio or another city posing as Chicago.

Less reliant on action and shootouts than some of Mann's later movies, Thief nonetheless does not disappoint when it comes to gunplay. It's after a $4 million dollar heist that the situation goes all to hell and Frank realizes everyone he loves and everything he owns is at risk. Drawing on his prison experience, "you have to have the mindset that you're not scared of dying," Frank goes after Leo and his henchmen in one last desperate attempt. You can see the last 10 minutes here, but obviously MAJOR SPOILERS. It's a very stylish, moving ending to the movie with another great sample from Tangerine Dream playing, even if I would have altered the ending a bit.

So take what I say with a grain of salt, I'm a huge Michael Mann fan, but Thief is as good if not better than the director's most well-known and respected movies like Heat and Collateral. Featuring a great performance from James Caan as an all-around badass who won't be messed with by anyone and a worthy supporting cast, Thief is one you should not let slip by.

Thief <----- trailer (1981): *** 1/2 / ****