Massacre Time

Just about anyone that knows me knows that I can find something positive in even the worst movie out there. I'm a pretty cheap date when it comes to movies overall. All I'm looking for is to be remotely entertained. And since starting the blog, I've written about a fair share of spaghetti westerns which I love mostly because they are B-movies that don't try to be something they're not. I guess the movie gods decided I've been too lucky when it comes to spaghettis lately because I finally got a lemon, 1966's Massacre Time.

It's been years since Tom Corbett (Franco Nero) has been home when his mother died. One day Tom receives a message that he must return home or else his brother Jeffrey (George Hilton) might be in danger. He returns home to find that Jeffrey sold the family ranch and land to the designated rich landowner in the area, Scott, and his sadistic son, Junior (Nino Castelnuovo). So starts a conflict as Tom tries to figure out what's happened.

One thing that I've taken for granted with spaghetti westerns is the quality of the dubbing. The casts in these movies were predominantly Italian actors so American voice actors had to dub in the dialogue afterward for U.S. audiences. Some are hardly noticeable like Sergio Leone's Dollars trilogy and other higher-end spaghettis from directors like Sergio Corbucci, Sergio Sollima and others. Others aren't so lucky where the actor's mouth and the words sound and look like a bad Godzilla movie, Massacre Time being one of those. In many of his movies, Nero recorded voice tracks in English and Italian, but here he's dubbed a man with a deep voice that doesn't fit at all, especially since many fans are familiar with his own voice. The rest of the dubbing here ranges from average to some of the worst I've seen.

Judging the casting then can be made a lot harder by the quality of the dubbing. I picked this movie on Netflix because I thought any spaghetti with Nero and Hilton in the two leads, and as brothers looking for revenge, would be quality stuff. You can probably tell by now I was wrong, but the over-the-top, sometimes downright ridiculous dubbing makes it hard to analyze the characters. Nero gets the straight role as the pissed off, sneering, glaring anti-hero while Hilton gets the broader part as the drunken brother who shoots better when wasted. And because it's a spaghetti western and eccentric villains are almost a requirement, Castelnuovo looks like a gay caballero with his immaculate white suit and ruffled shirt. He also dispatches opponents with a whip, an odd little touch.

When you look at the success of spaghetti westerns, there's usually one thing you can count on...lots and lots of gunplay. Director Lucio Fulci apparently didn't get that memo. At just 92 minutes, this is not a long movie, but it takes well over an hour for some actual gunfighting. And let's face it, that first hour doesn't exactly move at the speed of light. Heavy on dialogue and introducing weird background characters, especially a Chinese undertaker who constantly quotes Confuscius. That's original and not stereotypical in any way, right? By the time the action does come I was already fast forwarding. Tom and Jeff attack the Scott hacienda and single-handedly gun down what seems like hundreds of hired hands. It goes over the top with all kinds of squibs, jumping and tumbling, but I was beyond bored by then.

As for the DVD, it isn't the best print of the movie. It could have been transferred from a VHS tape, or at least it looked like it to me. The presentation is widescreen, but there's a good amount of scratches throughout onscreen. The colors seem muted and in general the print never comes to life. The one positive was the score from Coriolano Gori which is pretty catchy, including the theme song played over the credits, 'One Man Alone.' Check out this trailer for a good sample of the song which qualifies as so bad it's good. Even then, I defy you not to hum along. Other than the theme, Massacre Time is definitely a pass. Run away from this one.

Massacre Time (1966): */****